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The Big Dance was coming and I wanted to go. I asked Tilly Schroeder, but she said no.

I asked lots of girls from other high schools. They told me to get lost. I felt like a fool.

I knew, I knew, I knew I couldn't take my cousin nor my new stepmom.

Guess I'd spend another night with Rosie Pum.

I bopped around the neighborhood feeling blue.

Saw my uncle Jackie told me what to do.

And so and so and so saved up my money from the hot dog king,

serving up wieners and onion rings I hopped on my bike and rowed downtown

hit a couple corners and asked around.

that's how that's how I took a hooker to the prom.

A real live hooker to my high school prom.

I showed up in a limo and a rented tucks with a woman on my arm they call

Electrolux. She wore six inch heels and torn fish nets a skin tied dress showing off her

assets the other boys were jealous all the girls were sour I had the only date the charges by the hour

Well, oh well the principal came over all angry and red I swore I saw steam coming out of his head. My date glanced

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