This installment of Friday release valve is brought to you by

Snuffies of Route 44. Snuffies means good food and good times

and waitresses and waiters who take your order and deliver it to you on horseback.

Okay, listen, we need to talk about the mechanical bull again.

I know we discussed this recently, but...

Guys, I've never done this before and it might very well jeopardize my relationship

with the oldest and main sponsor of my program but in good conscience I must ask you to be smart about how and when you ride the mechanical

bowl at Snuffies in relation to when you eat a meal.

Even if there's a special at Snuffies encouraging you to eat

and then write it, okay?

I'm not saying you can't ride the bull.

All I'm saying is think about, think about riding the

bowl in relation to the rest of your dining experience. I have repeatedly

asked Tom Snuffhouser to cancel the drink six quartz of Pepsi and get a free mechanical

bull ride special.

I know it's very popular.

All the same. It's a horrible idea. I don't want to go into the harrowing details of

this little experiment, but suffice to say, actively encouraging 10-year-olds to drink

six quarts of Pepsi and then climb onto a bucking mechanical bowl is very likely

the most nightmarish thing I have ever seen in my entire life. It's like watching auditions

for the Exorcist while trying to eat scrambled eggs. It's like watching auditions for the exorcist while trying to eat scrambled eggs.

It's horrifying, horrifying.

...