This installment of Friday release valve is brought to you by 12 year old

Sherry Kask Single Malt hand sanitizer from Glen Kevin Hygenix.

You're moving up in the world you're successful respected you buy the good

cheese at the grocery store and your dogs hail from expensive breeds

unpronounceable by the clumsy tongues of poor people.

Isn't it about time you started using premium high quality hand sanitizer?

Regular mass produced hand sanitizer is made out of poor people plants, like lawn clippings,

discarded poincetias, and gutter kelp.

Whereas 12-year-old Cherry Kask's single-malt hand sanitizer comes from organic barley,

which is lovingly crafted, distilled, and parked in old bourbon barrels for 12 years,

so it can really absorb all that color and flavor. and

when you pull out a bottle of 12 year single malt hand sanitizer, people will say,

wow, look at that beautiful amber-colored gel with a sophisticated bouquet

rindolent of old English leather that that guy is rubbing around on his hands to

kill germs from touching a porta-potty. Did he slay a Greek god and harvest their icker

as a balm?

And you'll laugh and say,

get out of the porta potty.

There's clearly not enough room for both of us in here. You're sophisticated. You have

sophisticated germs. Is it any surprise that clotted rubbing ethanol just can't

outsmart your terribly clever germs? We at Glen Kevin think your germs are better

than working class germs. They deserve to be killed by superior hand Sanitizer.

...