In days gone by, when I used to do weddings, I used to invest a great deal of time in the

premarital counseling because I figured it is a vital importance to invest this time and to make

sure that the couple understand what they're doing.

And if there's one thing I sought to do is to bring the couple to reality.

Now, some of them probably, they didn't tell me that, but probably they call me killjoy.

Or spoiler. And I think if they're dead they'll be absolutely correct

I make no bones about it the most important issues that I would emphasize over and over and over again

is that each of them are bringing into the marriage some old baggage from

their childhood all the way up to that point. But in all relationships, we bring our old baggage

with us. It doesn't matter whether it be in marriage, a family, and church, whatever we are. Oh, but I know some of us travel light and like to carry on

baggage. Some like to bring suitcases. Now, I used to tell the couple that I wish that there is a button that you press and all of the

past baggage can be erased. I wish, but that was wishful thinking, but reminded him again, that is not possible.

Scientists tell us that what children learn growing up is like a metal needle engraving on a steel

plate. It stays there forever. It can never be erased. Now, some of these engravings

are wonderful. They are positive. That's the godly moms and dads that I know in this church,

and what they're doing. They are engraving wonderful things about loving God and loving the Word of God,

memorizing the scripture. And I'm just so

thankful for that. But some of these engravings, particularly in older generation, is negative and not

positive. And therefore, it takes an absolute commitment and surrender to the Holy Spirit of God

to slowly but surely blunt these negative and

destructive programmings. It takes an absolute commitment and faith in the power of God to let go

of these negative build-ups. It takes a total surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives to learn how

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