Ladies and gentlemen, Russell Brand,

controversial conspiracy theorist.

Trying to bring real journalism to the American people.

Hello there, you're awakening wonder sacks. Join me today for Stay Free with Russell Brand. It's Friday. This is the day that's called Friday. What do you mean? I said that, that's my own name. Are you okay? What's the matter? I just went like this on my neck and it really cracked like, oh, that's good though. Sometimes people do that for like a, you know, big fight or whatever. I shocked me. What, loose! I watched it yesterday. Pretty deep, pretty deep.

Hey! for like a, you know, big fight or whatever. Foot loose! I watched it yesterday. Pretty deep, pretty deep. Hey, if you're watching us on Rumble, Rumble premium, you're where you're supposed to be. If you're watching us anywhere else, get here and join us. Remember, let's do a quick and spontaneous reading from my book, Russell Brand, How to Be Christian, How to Become a Christian in Seven Days.

Got to learn the title of this book. I've written, oh, this was a good bit. Yeah, you should get it.

It's really good. That's that bit where I'm talking about King David and his squabble with prophets.

And he's the challenges of King David remaining on track with our Lord as a fallen and broken man. It's good stuff in there. Hey, listen, I've got a lot of things to talk you through today on Friday. I'm not doing this live because I'm in New York. Actually, I'm not sure where I'm anymore. I'm not here. I'll tell you that. But I'm around. I do a segment called Don't say you're not live. Yeah, they don't like that. And then you just say, am I live or not? Am I live or not? How would you ever know? Well, if I was live, I certainly would be willing to talk about Theo Vaughn taking a call from a guy. Dave, you wanted to do this. Did you? Oh, yeah. That was pretty funny. Why? What about it? He's just funny. I love his responses. I'm still not met him. I've been talking to this girl for like two years, and it turns out I got a pregnant. The word got around, and somehow it turns out that she's my first cousin. Wow. dang, brother. That's, uh, ooh.

That's, you're going to be raising a dang lizard, homie.

You can, um, wow, brother, good golly.

At the very least, it's going to need glasses.

That thing is going to need bifocals, brother.

You know, make sure it doesn't stand straight up

when the moon is full and shit like that when it's real young. Just, I'd hit a couple high notes near it on the instrument, see if its eyes turn red or anything, but you're just going to have to keep tabs on it. Just stay safe, brother, and I would back off that type of behavior. You know, if you win this round of DNA roulette, brother,

I'd leave the rest of the bullets in the chamber, baby, when it comes to family.

That's very good.

If you win this round of DNA roulette.

He does it so smooth.

That's the thing.

I mean, he says such crazy stuff.

High notes, stand up.

Hit some high notes on an instrument.

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