From I Do to We Do: Marriage, Communication, and Parenting After Kids

The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician Mom

Dr. Mona Amin

Medicine, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.9 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Parenting changes everything, including your relationship. In this episode, I sit down with therapist and author Eli Weinstein to talk honestly about why couples feel so disconnected after kids, what actually fuels resentment, and the small shifts that bring you back to each other. We cover expectations, invisible labor, communication traps, and why the first year with a new baby can shake even the strongest partnership. Eli also walks through practical tools like the five-minute check in, full communication, and his favorite phrase for opening up hard conversations without them turning into fights. This episode is real, relatable, and grounding. If you’ve ever thought, “We love each other, so why does this feel so heavy?”, you’re not alone. Eli shares stories from his own marriage, the couples he supports, and the tiny moments that rebuild connection when life feels chaotic. Whether you’re new parents, in the thick of it, or years past the baby stage, this is a conversation that brings clarity and hope. What we talk about: Why the first year after a baby strains even healthy relationships Expectations vs perception vs reality The invisible load and why it feels so uneven How resentment quietly builds The five-minute daily check in Full communication (and why hints don’t work) Rhombus moments for airing feelings safely Fighting fair and repairing in front of kids Why couples don’t need perfection, just honesty Small gestures that matter more than grand romantic moments To connect with Eli Weinstein follow him on Instagram @thedudetherapist, check out all his resources at linktr.ee/dudetherapist and buy his book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book 00:00 Intro: When Partners Start Feeling Like Roommates 02:35 Meet Eli Weinstein and Why This Topic Matters 03:53 What Inspired From I Do to We Do 05:13 Why the First Year After Baby Can Hit a Relationship Hard 08:06 Why Your Relationship Is the Foundation of Family Life 12:11 Expectations, Perceptions, and the Dishes Problem 14:11 The 5-Minute Daily Check-In That Prevents Resentment 18:14 Making Communication Work With Opposite Schedules 22:09 Mental Load, Invisible Labor, and Why Scorekeeping Fails 26:09 The "Rhombus Moment" for Hard Conversations 32:31 Pillow Talk 2.0, Curiosity Over Criticism 43:57 Letting Kids See Repair, Not Perfection 49:14 Why Real Love Is Not Disney, and What Teamwork Really Looks Like Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and ⁠subscribe to PedsDocTalk⁠. Get trusted pediatric advice, relatable parenting insights, and evidence-based tips delivered straight to your inbox—join thousands of parents who rely on the PDT newsletter to stay informed, supported, and confident. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠! And don’t forget to follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠@pedsdoctalkpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Instagram—our new space just for parents looking for real talk and real support. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the ⁠PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships⁠ page of the website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:23.3	like you sign up for your one dollar a month trial at shopify dot com slash set up i love love
0:31.3	and i want to help people figure that out and what that means to them and their couple after my
0:36.3	daughter was born that that first year,
0:39.3	my wife and I went through the hardest year of our marriage
0:42.3	and had a massive breaking point in that anniversary.
0:45.3	It really taught us a very powerful thing
0:48.3	that we really need to focus on what truly matters.
0:51.3	And it's just something that really, like,
0:53.3	open my eyes to the reality
0:55.0	that this needs to be paid attention to.
1:02.2	Hey everyone, Dr. Mona here. And welcome back to the show. I want to ask you something off
1:07.8	the bat. Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, when did we
1:11.5	become roommates instead of partners? I've been there. Did you struggle with your relationship
1:15.9	after having kids? Been there? Have you ever felt like you're talking more about logistics than about
1:21.5	each other and with each other? Been there? Have you ever gotten frustrated not because of the
1:25.8	dishes, but because you feel like you're the only one noticing them. Been there too. If that sounds familiar, you are not alone.
1:33.3	My husband and I have absolutely been there. After kids' relationships shift, the exhaustion,
1:38.5	the invisible mental low, the constant coordination, and the lack of time together can slowly
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