From How To! | How To Raise a Kid in a Polarized Family

Care and Feeding | Slate's parenting show

Slate Podcasts

Society & Culture, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.6 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 1 September 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents’ patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, science journalist and author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda gives Sarah strategies for talking to all parties, reinforcing values in her daughter, and avoiding an irreparable break with her relatives. If you want more Melinda, check out: How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey listeners, we're taking a little break this Labor Day weekend, but we didn't want you to go without a show.
0:07.4	So today we're dropping a special episode from How To called How to Raise a Kid in a Polarized Family with Melinda Wenner-Moyer.
0:15.1	Melinda is a journalist who covers parenting, science, and medicine.
0:18.5	She talks about how to let in-laws share love without passing
0:21.6	along politics or patriarchy. Give it a listen. Slate Plus listeners, we have a new episode of
0:27.1	the Plus Playground in your feed right next to this show, and we'll be back later this week with a
0:31.6	fresh episode of Karen feeding. This makes me sound not like a great person.
0:39.9	My husband and I have this dream of making a bingo card.
0:43.1	Every time somebody says something sexist,
0:45.8	and every time somebody mentions the industrial complex is burning down our food infrastructure,
0:52.0	we're going to check a box.
0:53.4	If you are a terrible person, I am a terrible person because I have actually made a bingo
0:57.4	card, which is making me laugh so hard when you said that. I need the template.
1:03.3	Hello and welcome to how to, the show where listeners bring us their tangliest questions
1:08.6	and we find an expert to help them sort it out.
1:11.8	I'm Courtney Martin.
1:13.6	Today's question is, well, pretty tangly.
1:17.0	It involves our deepest core beliefs, you know, the things that define us as parents and partners,
1:22.8	and what happens when those beliefs aren't compatible with those of our extended families?
1:28.9	Today's listener, Sarah, is a research scientist by day, but in her personal life, she's
1:33.2	exploring big questions about in-laws, values, and the things we teach our kids.
1:39.9	My husband and I have a daughter, and she is, as I say, three going on 13, as cliche as that is.
	...

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