Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, oh, oh, I want to start just by sharing with you. I love coming back to the porch because it brings me back to Dallas and I'm from Dallas and so I went to high school I graduated from high school just down the street at Highland Park High School don't judge me that's just that's where my family lives, that's where I went.

But as I was preparing for tonight,

I decided to bring this newspaper,

The Bagpipe, which was a Highland Park High School publication and it was a senior issue

where they included the senior poll. Your high school might have had a senior poll but this is where

they have a bunch of different categories and they rank people in the class different things.

I just want to share with you what I was rated.

Okay, I was rated three different things.

Okay, the first thing that I was rated is I took third place in the category of just

plain nice. So here's what that means. There was two people who were nicer than me at

Highland Park, but then I was nicer than about 376 other people. So it's a

big deal, no big deal, but it's a big deal no big deal but it's a big deal. I also took

third place in most sincere which means that there was people who didn't fake it as much as I did, and so they

took the first two spots, but then I was more sincere than the rest of the class.

And then this one stung a little, but it just was the reality.

I took second place in most religious.

Like there was someone who beat me.

I'm like, how do you like me now?

If you could just see what I'm doing now,

I promise you first spot would go to this guy.

...