From Family Secrets to Self-Discovery: How Understanding Our Past Heals Us with Carmen Rita Wong

The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer, The One You Feed

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Buddhism, Mental Health

4.6 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 5 December 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Carmen Rita Wong shares her journey from learning family secrets to self-discovery and how understanding our past heals us. She delves into forgiveness, personal responsibility, and the impact of upbringing, as well as practical strategies for self-examination and habit change. Carmen shares how therapy, compassion, and embracing her complex heritage helped her build resilience and authenticity, offering listeners insights on navigating identity, breaking cycles, and finding peace with the past. Exciting News!!!Coming in March 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Key Takeaways: Exploration of complex family history and identity Discussion of the memoir "Why Didn't You Tell Me" The parable of the two wolves and its relevance to personal growth Themes of forgiveness and personal responsibility The impact of childhood experiences on adult life The role of therapy in healing and self-examination Navigating multicultural identity and heritage The process of uncovering family secrets and understanding one's origins The importance of empathy and compassion in human relationships Strategies for habit change and personal transformation through small, intentional actions For full show notes,⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠ Connect with the show: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow us on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheOneYouFeedPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you! This episode is sponsored by: ⁠Aura Frames⁠: For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting ⁠AuraFrames.com /FEED ⁠to get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames – named #1 by Wirecutter – by using promo code FEED at checkout. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays! ⁠Uncommon Goods ⁠has something for everyone – you’ll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won’t find anywhere else, and you’ll be supporting artists and small, independent businesses. To get 15% off your next gift, go to ⁠UNCOMMONGOODS.com/FEED⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠: Post your job for free at ⁠⁠linkedin.com/oneyoufeed⁠⁠. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	That's the whole midlife crisis thing, right?
0:02.3	It's because all of a sudden you stop doing what the world tells you're supposed to be doing
0:06.3	and your parents tell you what you're supposed to be doing.
0:08.3	And then you go out and you're like, I'm doing what I want.
0:14.5	Welcome to the one you feed.
0:20.7	Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have
0:41.1	instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just
0:47.0	about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a
0:52.8	life worth living. This podcast is about how
0:55.8	other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.
1:03.2	Most of us spend our lives trying to simplify our story, make it neater or cleaner or easier to
1:09.4	live with, but the truth is rarely neat. Carmen Rita Wong,
1:14.1	writer, former television host, and author of the wonderful memoir, Why Didn't You Tell Me, has lived
1:19.9	that truth. Her story holds love and anger, loyalty and betrayal, and the long work of forgiveness
1:26.6	that doesn't rewrite what happened, but changes
1:29.7	how she carries it. Her honesty reminds us that wholeness isn't found by choosing one side of the
1:35.1	story over another. It's found in the courage to hold the whole truth and still keep going. Because
1:41.4	who we are isn't what happened to us. It's what we do with what happened. I'm Eric Zimmer,
1:47.4	and this is the one you feed. Hi, Carmen. Welcome to the show. Hi, Eric. Thank you so much for having me.
1:53.7	I am really excited to have you on. We're going to be discussing your book called Why Didn't You Tell Me a
1:59.7	memoir? But before we do that, we'll start like we always do
2:02.6	with the parable. In the parable, there's a grandparent who's talking with their grandchild,
	...

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