From despair to hope. There have been times when one passage in today's parasha was for me,

little less than life-saving. No leadership position is easy. Leading Jews is harder still and

spiritual leadership can be hardest of them all. Leaders have a public face that's usually calm,

upbeat, optimistic and relaxed. But behind the facade,

we can all experience storms of emotion as we realize how deep are the divisions between people,

how intractable are the problems we face and how thin, the ice on which we stand. Perhaps we all

experience such moments at some point in our lives when we know

where we are and where we want to be, but simply can't see a route from here to there. That is a

prelude to despair. Whenever I felt that way, I would turn to the searing moment in our parcia when

Moses reached his lowest ebb.

The precipitating cause was seemingly slight.

The people were engaged in their favourite activity, complaining about the food.

With self-deceptive nostalgia, they spoke about the fish they had in Egypt,

and the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic.

Gone is the memory of slavery. All they can recall is the cuisine.

At this, understandably, God was very angry, but Moses was more than angry.

He suffered a complete emotional breakdown.

He said this to God, why have you brought this evil on your servant? Why have I failed to find favor in your eyes that you've placed the burden of this whole people on me? Did I conceive this whole people? Did I give birth to it? That you should say to me, carry it in your lap as a nurse carries a baby. Where can I find meat to give this whole people when they cry to me

saying, give us meat to eat? I can't carry this whole people on my own. It's too heavy for me.

If this is what you are doing to me, then if I found favor in your eyes, kill me now,

and let me not look upon this, my evil.

This for me is the benchmark of despair.

...