If you've experienced betrayal, you know that betrayal obviously damages the trust in the relationship,

but really it fractures so much more than that.

The reality itself of your world, your spouse's world, is now fractured too.

Yes, and when that reality is broken and shattered into a thousand pieces,

there is work that has to be done. I've actually heard advice given to people, probably because

they haven't walked with a lot of couples around betrayal. But I've heard people say, oh, once you

forgive, just don't bring it up ever again.

Just continue to walk.

That's like standard advice from a lot of pastors, actually.

It is.

And so today we really want to kind of go deep on this subject of what is it to rebuild trust?

What are the actions that the betrayer needs to do in order to win back and rebuild

the marriage that he's lost? Yeah. You just used the pronoun he. Obviously, this can go either way.

We worked with plenty of couples where the man broke trust or the woman broke trust. But for the sake of this

conversation, we'll just say that the man broke trust and we'll use that example when we're

talking about him and her. Yes, because it really becomes difficult, always giving the disclaimer.

But yes, both can break trust.

But we'll just use He just to keep it more simple for this conversation.

So, husband, if you're the one listening, you have to understand that the world she knew, that safe space that you represented, it's now shattered.

And she's left trying to put all these pieces together

and she feels very alone in doing so unless you choose something different. And I know the tendency

for a lot of men that we work with is to try to be perfect and I'm going to, I'm going to dot every eye, cross every

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