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The Refined Collective Podcast

Friendship Breakups with Andi Andrew

The Refined Collective Podcast

Kat Harris

Honesty, Religion & Spirituality, Love, Leaders, Life, Businessowners, Authenticity, Courage, Society & Culture, Christianity

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 November 2021

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

Andi Andrew is the author of She Is Free, Fake or Follower, and her newest book which is coming out October 2021, Friendship–It's Complicated. I am so excited to be talking with her about friendship breakups— something that all of us have been through. There’s tons of guidance and support out there for romantic breakups, but not for friendship breakups (even though they can often feel just as hard!!)

Are friendship breakups harder than romantic breakups?

  • We long for permanence in our lives.
  • We never walk into a friendship with the thought in the back of our minds that we could be ghosted or left.
  • Unmet expectations and needs that we maybe never communicated.

Struggling to hold boundaries with friends

  • What if they ghost you? What if you ghost them? Is the friendship over?
  • When do fight for the friendship? When do you let it go?
  • Has the church encouraged you to adopt a savior complex with your non-Christian friends?

Is reconciliation always the end goal?

  • If you have a friendship breakup, should your goal always be reconciliation?

  • “Always reconcile things with God in your own heart.” - Andi Andrew

  • Sometimes reconciliation means that you just are deciding to be at peace with each other rather than return to the way the friendship was.
  • Is “some friendships are for a season” a cop out? Only you can know your heart— whether you’re just afraid of taking ownership or having hard conversations or if the friendship really is only meant for a season.

What are you meditating on?

  • “The biggest thing we’re confronting here are our belief systems. And our belief systems are shaped by our wounding and what we believe about those wounds. Because when we’re wounded, usually that’s when a lie comes in.” - Andi Andrew
  • “The meditation of our heart is actually where our belief systems come from. So do we meditate on the lies from the wounds or do we meditate on the truth and the healing?” - Andi Andrew

Resources



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We invest large amounts of money into our careers. But with things like love, we think “It’ll happen when it happens,” and with things like kids, we think “I’ll think about that down the road.” What if we were just as intentional about our reproductive health as we are our careers? Modern Fertility is an easy way to test your fertility with an at-home test at a fraction of the cost. Go to ModernFertility.com/refined for $20 off your fertility test.



Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Refine Collective Podcast. I'm your host, Cat Harris.

0:12.1

This podcast is designed to hold space for honest conversations, from purity culture to faith,

0:19.7

sexuality, relationships, identity, culture, deconstruction, and more.

0:26.5

My hope is to look doubt in the face, be curious, seek God, and ask meaningful questions

0:32.8

to address any elephant in the room with openness, nuance, and grace.

0:39.3

I won't pretend to be an expert and definitely don't have all the answers.

0:43.5

And though it may feel easier and more comfortable to exist in the black and white, I invite you

0:48.1

to discover God with me in the gray and unexpected spaces.

0:53.7

So whoever you are, whatever you do or don't believe, you are welcome here and have a seat

0:59.0

at this table.

1:01.9

Make sure you're subscribed to the Refine Collective Podcast on iTunes, so each week

1:06.2

when a new episode drops, it'll download straight to those devices.

1:11.2

And while you're at it, if you feel so inclined, leave us a five star rating and written review.

1:16.3

It would be so helpful to get our message out there.

1:19.8

All right, let's go ahead and get to it.

1:25.7

Welcome to the Refine Collective Podcast.

1:28.1

I am your host, Cat Harris.

1:29.7

And first of all, special shout out and thank you to New Stand Studio at Rockefeller Center

1:34.9

in New York City for producing my podcast.

1:37.7

What a freaking honor.

1:39.2

I'm so grateful.

1:40.5

You can follow along with Rockefeller Center on Twitter at Rock Center NYC or Instagram

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