I just want to quickie if you can get with that mommy come give with me

What's up real ones? Welcome to your Friday quickie.

Our goal is to give you tips to help improve your real relationships in less than five minutes.

I'm Ash still and I'm Devon still now let's get it in.

All right so on our next four episodes of our quickies we're going to be discussing

the four things that researchers say if it's present in your

relationship or marriage it can mean that it's on the verge of ending and the first

one is criticism yes you guys so criticism is defined by verbally attacking your partner's

character or personality instead of attacking the problem. All right so let's give

y'all an example. Let's say that you ask your partner to pick up something that

you really needed on the way home from work.

But when they walk through the door, you notice they don't have it.

So you approach them and you're like, how did you forget what I asked you to pick up?

Like I really need it. You're always forgetting things that I asked you to pick up like I I really need it you're always forgetting things that I

asked you to get you only care about yourself like if it's something that you

needed you would have made sure you got it no no one yeah all right notice in that in that statement that I was using you statements,

like I'm pointing at the person saying you are always forgetting stuff.

And I'm using words like always, meaning that I'm not talking about that particular situation, but I'm talking about your behavior overall.

Like you have a personality flaw that you're forgetful.

So you don't want to use that in relationships you don't want to come at the

person's character but you want to attack the actual problem.

Right so let's attack the problem instead of our partner and the way you do that is by

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