What's up everybody? This is the Betray, the addicted, and the expert. My name is Brannon and I am the expert.

And I'm Ashland and I was the portrayed and I'm Kobe the recovering addict.

What you're going to get is three unique perspectives on recovery and

tools for hope and healing.

The cause of our suffering in many ways is our resistance to what is.

And one of the most common signs of resistance

is when we get caught up in shoulds.

It should be that way, it should be this way. I should be this way. My spouse should be that way.

And when we have that dialogue going on in her head, what we're saying is I am not accepting of what is. I don't have

peace about what is. And if only things were different, then I could be happy.

And another things were different than I could be happy and another thing that

that should's do is they they create and they feed and fuel shame they tell you

hey you should be different, therefore you're not enough.

You're not okay the way that you are.

And I say it all the time and I want to say it here in this podcast is don't should on yourself.

Learn how to accept what is.

Have peace with what is.

Even if you have flaws, if you have areas of your life that you need to work on,

then own those things,

look at those things and then get to work on them.

But if you just sit back and you judge yourself and you should yourself and you say,

gosh, I should be different, then you're going to, you're not really going to be motivated

...