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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday, 11.21.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 21 November 2025

⏱️ 116 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The cops that helped Lazlo were super helpful; And no, he’ s not kissing ass. Stop shaming Lazlo for not having an emergency-contact. The guys discuss the ‘Cocaine Quarterback,’ and Lazlo sends anonymous letters to corporate saying SlimFast fingers him. If you bought a storage unit with 1.7 million fent pills from the cartel, would you keep it? Lazlo gives his sports bets for the weekend. In Headlines, the guys discuss Natalie Greene faking a violent political attack, Ryan Wedding having a bounty of $15 million, a leaked recording showing Campbell's Soup VP cussing out their product (and, customers), a Jan 6th-er being arrested for child sexual abuse, new updates about Ana Kepner, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.6

to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the lord when i lay my vengeance upon thee ladies and

0:42.9

gentlemen the church of laslow has begun yo yo what's going on my friend nothing how are you

0:51.8

i'm great no problems you're like a whole new person i will say i

0:56.0

slept through the night last night for the first time forever well you just walked in here with pepping

1:00.4

your step and i mean it's crazy because my back still hurts but not nearly as bad and i'm like oh man

1:06.9

i rented a car i didn't have to get a ride from my boss like i found my wallet oh is that that's how you

1:12.1

got here my boss had drove me yesterday the day before oh no i know but i mean that's how you got here

1:17.7

today was you rented a car last night yeah aha okay gotcha yeah yeah because i'm used since our boss

1:25.0

has been driving you to work every time i come in you guys are already here and i just And I just imagine, like, I'm like, I'm not going to ask, but I wonder what time he picks last. Oh, I'm telling him what time. He was fine with whatever. Okay. And I did tell him a little bit earlier than I usually leave just because I'm like, you know. Right. I don't want to be, hey, man, swing by, I don't know, $5.50. should give us enough time if we get there you know with like 30 minutes to be able to stroll in there and do a show yeah oh my guy you know 5 oh 5 oh 5 somewhere around there is when i usually leave so yeah yeah i figured it was something like that and i hadn't asked but today i didn't see you guys and i was like oh but then when you walked in so i in, so I kind of thought like, I hope something, like, what if, what if our boss got in the accident? What if somebody rear-ended him or even car trouble or whatever? But then you walked in, and I could just see it on your face, like, good morning. Yeah, I feel better for sure. And then you said you'd slapped, and I was like, holy crap. In bed, laying down. Yeah, the most sleep I could get before

2:20.4

for the last month was on the recliner and that may be like an hour. Right. And then you're like,

2:24.8

ah, 30, 40 minutes at a time. Yeah, maybe get three of those. And then just come in here and work and then

2:31.0

sleep in between every right while he's explaining. Head down. As I think, i come in and your heads down in the morning i mean it seems like you feel

2:38.4

the worst early in the day as you're trying to get started which that's also just like part of

2:44.2

getting older is that you're yeah i still think my bed's bad well yeah all that too i'm just saying

2:49.9

it's compounded with the fact that as we get older, anything that sort of bothers us bothers us even more in the morning. Yeah, also, we haven't started taking any sort of drug regimen. You're right. Like, at 5 in the morning, you're back like, yo, kick in. Where's the meds? What, did you forget to take them? me like, I don't know, did I? I can't tell. So you found your

3:09.4

wallet, rented a car, got some sleep. Yep. I mean,

3:13.5

what else do you need? You're wearing a sweater? I'm wearing a sweater. I got the

3:17.3

my, and unbelievably, my insurance

...

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