I'm going to go and

All your cans, black power. How you do?

I'm quite out of shape at the moment.

At the moment when I'm lying down and I get an erection,

it sort of looks like a motorcyclist

emerging over the brow of a hill.

I don't think women mind.

I don't think women mind heavier guys I think women look at me and think he would go

down on me like a fucking parched spaniel

I have a theory that masturbation is a kind of summoning spell for your own rational mind.

Because we're also driven by hormones and by desire.

Sometimes you have to have a wank to speak to your real self.

You have a wank.

You have a wank. You have a wank. should shag my ex one last time!

I'll take the omee, I'll shakha!

And then you come,

and a little voice comes on your head that goes,

Yeah, don't do that mate.

It's weird getting older as well. When I was a teenager, ejaculating was like a firework going off.

I'm 45 now. When I ejaculate it's like Tim Robbins escaping

from Shawshank. So I'm from Glasgow, a city where people think that hepatitis B is a

fucking vitamin.

...