We've taken all my radio shows and done a bit of editing and tightening.

It's a walk-down memory lane. I know because people find new things quite frightening.

Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Radio Days. We're in 2012.

Oh man, I can't remember the Olympic theme.

And this time we're talking about my sport relief swimming challenge.

Enjoy.

I swam a length this week for the first time in my life of the swimming pool.

Not to the outsider particularly impressive achievement, but to...

No, I won't have that.

But to the frightened middle-aged man, a mountain has been climbed.

Even Sandy Waugh is applauding in the other room.

It's a soundproof booth, but I know the visual for applause.

I won't have you minimizing your achievement because we're all very proud of you this morning, aren't we? I'll tell you what's like... No one answered. No one answered in this room. I'll tell you what slightly impaired it for me is I actually... When I did it, I got very excited. When my hand actually touched the wall at the end of the swimming pool, I was very excited. And I turned to the crowd. It had been incredibly supportive. And I was in the crowd, just FYI. And I'm afraid I clenched my fist and said,

come on. Yeah. It was true pierce. Which is, it's the, I was thinking Andy Morrie.

Worse still, I was thinking something I was in Andy Morrie's mom.

And I thought, is that what happens? You learn to swim you become Andy Morris' mom. Yeah, that would be. I don't want people saying, every time I'm on telly, saying is he divorced? I don't, I don't want that. Where's the dad? I don't want that going on. And then you splash the water with your fist, which I liked.

I went crazy.

I mean, some of the things looking back on now, I mean, that morning, I took such a time over my shave

because I thought it would make me a little bit more aqua-dynamic in the water.

And I had a lot of pasta the night before, I thought, build up the carb.

So I was going to do a marathon.

Excellent. 25 metres, we're talking. No, can I say there was an element of jeopardy being poolside? I didn't go for flip-flops. I went for chunky heels. Did you? I'm not changing my show for anyone. I thought that was sensible. There isn't a varooka in Britain that would have gone through those heels. How have the Baruchas dealt with your swimming?

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