This TED Talk features communications consultant France Villarthe, recorded live at TED at Wells Fargo, 2020.

I was an eight-year-old kid in the mid-1990s. I grew up in southern Philippines. At that age,

you're young enough to be oblivious about what society expects from each of us, but old enough to be aware

of what's going on around you. We lived in a one-bedroom house, all five of us. Our house was

amongst clusters of houses made mostly of wood and corrugated metal sheets. These houses were built

very close to each other along unpaid roads.

There was little to no expectation of privacy.

Whenever an argument broke out next door, you heard it all.

Or if there was a little something, something going on.

You would probably hear that too.

Like any other kid, I learned what a family looked like.

It was a man, a woman, plus a child or children.

But I also learned it wasn't always that way.

There were other combinations of work just as well.

There was this family of three who lived down the street.

The lady of the house was called Lenny.

Lenny had long black hair, often in a ponytail, and manicured nails.

She always went out with a little makeup on and her signature red lipstick.

Lenny's other half, I don't remember much about him, except that he had

a thing for white, sleeveless shirts and gold chains around his neck. Their daughter was a

couple years younger than me. Now, everybody in the village knew Lenny. She owned and ran what was the

most popular beauty salon in our side of town. Every time their family

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