Fowl Play & Rearmament: The Janesville Turkey Uprising & The Unthinkable Artillery Insertion | 476
Hysteria 51
ForthHand Media
4.4 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 4 February 2026
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on Hysteria 51, we’re serving up a double feature where nature chooses violence… and humanity chooses unhinged.
First: Janesville, Wisconsin is apparently living inside a Thanksgiving-themed action movie. A flock of wild turkeys has been chasing people, hassling a postal worker, blocking traffic, and generally running the neighborhood like feathery little HOA enforcers with anger issues. One local even caught the chaos on camera. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be offering peace and goodwill to all… while a bird the size of a small child sprints at you with murder in its eyes, welcome home.
Then we pivot from “street menace” to “please evacuate the entire building”: a man showed up at a hospital with a World War I artillery shell lodged in his rectum, prompting a hospital evacuation and a bomb squad response because, yes, it was reported as potentially live. Doctors had to remove it surgically, and everyone involved probably aged ten years in one evening. It’s the kind of headline that makes you whisper, “how” and then immediately decide you don’t actually want the answer.
So buckle up for an episode packed with weird news, small-town terror turkeys, and ER chaos so intense it came with its own security perimeter. If you like your comedy dark, your science nonexistent, and your survival instincts activated by poultry… this one’s for you.
Links & Resources
Email us your favorite WEIRD news stories:
Support the Show
Get exclusive content & perks as well as an ad and sponsor free experience at https://www.patreon.com/Hysteria51 from just $1
Shop
Be the Best Dressed at your Cult Meeting!
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hysteria51?ref_id=9022
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | The following is a fourth-hand production. |
| 0:10.0 | What's up, Adrian? |
| 0:11.0 | Love it. |
| 0:12.5 | How's it going? |
| 0:13.8 | Welcome to another week of Valerie Stereo. |
| 0:18.0 | Starting off, all right. |
| 0:19.0 | With this clown, Brent, me. |
| 0:21.6 | Hello, sir. |
| 0:23.0 | Hello. |
| 0:24.1 | You're a wizard, Harry. |
| 0:25.8 | We're getting rain, and it's in the 40s, so it's killing all the ice. |
| 0:29.8 | As of last night, we still could not use our driveway or get out, so that's been fun. |
| 0:33.8 | I don't think you're legally allowed to save that phrase anymore. |
| 0:37.8 | What, |
| 0:38.0 | can't get out of my house or driveway? |
| 0:40.0 | I hope before that. |
| 0:42.7 | What the rain is doing. |
| 0:44.3 | It's melting the ice. |
| 0:46.4 | Killing. |
| 0:47.8 | The ice. |
| 0:48.8 | Yeah. |
| 0:49.9 | So we're at the bottom of a hill and then our drive is like a, |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from ForthHand Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of ForthHand Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.