Hey guys, before we begin this episode, I want to read a letter from Hannah,

one of our listeners to Dee, one of our callers on last week's episode with Ed Drossdi.

Here's the letter. Dear Dee, after having gone through the intense turbulence of a toxic

military relationship, I've come away with some strong opinions and conclusions.

The first problem is that you're pressured to get married at such a young age,

because if you don't, it is incredibly hard to maintain a relationship in any branch of the

military. It's also a common and accepted idea that you marry your girlfriend or boyfriend

in order to be together, because if not, the girl will cheat or the distance will kill you.

Of course, a real, mature, and strong relationship can survive the distance.

I saw my now husband twice a year for two years when he first signed up for the military.

He constantly pressured me to get married and couldn't understand why I wanted to finish school

first and get my life together before taking on a marriage. The military really brings out the

most selfish parts of you, especially being so young, it doesn't matter if you live in the same

house or in another country like my husband and I did, I always felt lonely.

And a military dependent is seen as just an extension of the soldier.

I can't even begin to delve into the degrading treatment of dependence.

He's the breadwinner, he's got all the friends, he's taken care of the medical bills,

the house, the insurance, and that is constantly being drilled into your husband's head from

everyone around him. You are on the back burner, I can't tell you how many things I couldn't do

on the base without my husband in tow. So with someone who has done the distance and finally gave

up everything to save my marriage, I would say don't do it. Don't get married young and especially

not for the military, you will lose yourself and it will not get better. You either adapt to

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