Does your past haunt you? Do you find it hard to forgive your spouse because, if the truth were known, you can’t forgive yourself? Do you let him or her come only so close and then they hit the wall you’ve put up? Chip wants you to know there’s a way to take a brick off that wall - and then another - and another. He wants you to know Jesus offers a solution to the guilt that’s robbing you of a healthy marriage. You don’t want to miss this one.

Three major reasons we have shame:

1. A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
2. Shame from things DONE to us.
3. Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

1. To HIDE.
2. To NUMB the pain.
3. To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

1. Jesus MEETS us where we are.
2. Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
3. Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

1. You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
2. EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
3. Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

• Phase 1: Forgive
• Phase 2: Forgiving
• Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

• Own your responsibility
• Confess: “I was wrong.”
• Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
• Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

Broadcast Resource

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• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book

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