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For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

For the Love of Therapy: Wellness Doesn’t Come From a Product, It Comes From Within: Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.66.3K Ratings

🗓️ 8 November 2023

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this latest installment of our For The Love of Therapy series, we delve into a timely discussion on mental wellness with a focus on genuine self-care. Our guest, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a renowned psychiatrist and advocate for women, offers fresh insights that urge listeners to break free from the superficial beauty and wellness industry's narrative that is steadily being pushed at us through all kinds of media, but in a dizzying fashion on social media, in particular. Steering the talk away from quick-fix solutions, Dr. Lakshmin illuminates the essence of true self-care, which, in her research, links to four major chambers rarely associated with this concept. From the importance of saying 'No' when overwhelmed, to understanding that self-care is more than just a beauty regimen, she reminds us that wellness comes from within. Dr. Lakshmin, an accomplished writer for the New York Times and founder of the Gemma community, also shares insights from her book, 'Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)'. Join us for this enlightening conversation and let's start redefining what wellness truly means.

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Thought-Provoking Quotes:

“We have to talk about the systems, the social structures that have gotten us to this place where the expectation for a woman, a mom to feel better is this very condescending, ‘well just go to a yoga class, just pour your bubble bath and a glass of wine and there… you'll feel better.’ I find that to be condescending at best, manipulative at worst.” - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

“Real self-care is an internal process. It brings you closer to yourself. It's a verb. It's not a noun.” - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

“Guilt is just there all the time when it comes to boundaries and when it comes to compassion too; how we talk to ourselves.“ - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

“Therapy is this cozy little corner where you can be with yourself and be curious.” - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

Audre Lorde

Bell Hooks

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself - by Melody Beattie

For the Love Podcast episode featuring Brené Brown

For the Love Premium Bonus Podcast episode featuring Melodie Beatty

Gemma

Guest’s Links:

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s Website

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s Twitter

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s Instagram

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s Facebook

Connect with Jen!
Jen’s website

Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter

Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey everybody, Chan Hatmaker here, your host of the For The Love Podcast.

0:07.5

Welcome to the show.

0:09.7

We are in a really fascinating series right now called For the Love of Therapy.

0:16.8

We really wanted to parse this particular series out, focusing on various layers and levels of psychiatry and counseling and therapy and really digging deep.

0:28.0

There will not be a listener who cannot relate to this.

0:32.0

Obviously, we pay attention, we see what's happening on social media.

0:38.0

And this has to do with our conversation today in the context of mental wellness and therapy. I can speak for myself and tell you that almost every ad I get on social media

0:49.2

suggests that I am being targeted by the beauty and wellness industry genuinely like you know how the algorithm works like let's say you you look at an ad for

1:00.5

three seconds about a shampoo that gives volume to your hair and suddenly every

1:06.1

other ad you get is about hair restoration right we know that social media ads

1:11.6

are driven by our viewing habits, but all of a sudden,

1:16.2

we are just inundated with these messages that we should be worried about.

1:20.3

Our hair lines, certainly our wrinkles. the skin around our necks, our elbows, like I've got to add that comes up in my

1:28.2

speed about my elbow skin. Like I can't guys, a lot this pressure this creating a problem for me that I didn't

1:39.7

even know I had or exploiting the ones that they know I don't feel great about, right?

1:45.0

And that all these quick fixes, like this is the cure, this is the solution,

1:49.2

this is the way to get your life improved, this is the answer, which is truly, truly never, ever true.

1:57.9

And so what we're going to learn today from our guest is a different idea about self-care. She calls it real self-care. And it's not focused on

2:08.9

superficial beauty, but rather genuine well-being. And she's going to walk us through it today. What that

2:17.6

actually looks like, how we can discern the difference. You guys, we have an incredible

2:22.1

guest. We've got Dr. Pooja Luchman. She is a renowned psychiatrist. She's an advocate for women who are certainly

2:32.4

targeted by these industries and she emphasizes that

...

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