I am Yamla your host for this journey. I was a hopeless love-a-holic but just could not get my love to work.

Then after a series of heartbreaks and deep heartache, I finally got clear

about what love is and what it is not. I want to share some of what I've learned about lover holism.

Welcome to the R spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. I remember the day I was walking in the parking lot of a mall and saw what I thought

was a man being physical with a woman. From where I was

standing it looked like he was pushing her and being from Brooklyn I could not walk away

so I walked over so I could see and hear what was going on.

As I got closer I could see that he wasn't fighting her, she was fighting him, and he was trying to calm her down.

Then I noticed the man was crying.

Tears were streaming down his face and the woman was blasting him with foul language.

Our eyes met, he saw me and without saying a word I knew he needed help. I asked him something I'm

not I'm not really sure and he said to me she has dementia she doesn't know where

we are I ask what's her name and he told me. So I stepped in I said hi Miss

Lorraine you want to go shopping with me? She immediately turned her attention to me. She responded with something about

dogs and how Mr Howard had taken her micles. I took her by the hand and just

started walking through the rows of cars.

She was definitely in a Maddox state, but somehow I captured her attention and she calmed

down.

Mr Howard followed us and after several minutes she turned,

saw Mr Howard and said,

are you gonna take me to the store?

He said yes. She dropped my hand and walked away with him. And that was the first time I realized the stress and pain of spouses or partners who become caregivers.

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