As I was putting on my blazer to talk to you for the first time in over a month,

it occurred to me that the comfort of getting back into my uniform,

into sitting in the chair, into talking to COCA as we get set to record record what was in my head is how do I even start to

describe what has been going on for the last 10 months why was it that I was

unable to do the one thing that you've always asked me to do from day one when

we started our show in 2019 we told you that we are going to give you a peek behind the

curtain of sports of culture entertainment with the experience that I had.

And we did that for months and then years.

And then a relationship started with you.

And that relationship was built on honesty.

That relationship was built on information.

It was this codependent relationship that I had not even expected to have happened.

Where the strength that you give to me every single day as an audience, the way you contact me and email me about things way before September 12th,

2025, asking questions, tell me about your life, where we feel as though we know each other

when I stare into a camera in front of an audience of Zero live, except you're all there.

And then at the moment when my life and so many other lives changed, I was stunned into silence,

which is a position I've never felt or been in in my entire life.

You see, I was always the center of attention I was always the person who knew what to say when to say it how to

walk in rooms whether it's with the president or whether it's with someone on

the street and on September 12th 2025 when I received a phone call that something was wrong with my daughter,

I didn't know what to say or what to do.

What happened over the next nine months and 11 days was just action.

...