Foolish for not chasing marriage?, Is our intimacy a sin, Are my natural arousals sinful? | ACW360
Ask Christopher West
Theology of the Body Institute
4.9 • 549 Ratings
🗓️ 24 November 2025
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Questions answered this episode:
- I’m a 24-year-old single woman who has never dated. I want to be married, but it’s a passive desire—I’m content and open if something comes my way. I don’t ache for marriage the way others do, and I don’t feel called to chase it. People tell me I’m wasting my twenties and question if I even want a family. I do want marriage, just no one has interested me yet. I don’t think God is asking me to hunt for a spouse. Does that make sense, or am I being foolish?
- My husband and I have used NFP for 20 years, but during my fertile times he tempts me daily for intimacy. I resist for a few days but usually cave once a month, leading to intercourse where only I climax. It’s very hard to stop, and I’m always the one trying, which leaves me feeling guilty. I love our intimacy but resent his lack of restraint. A priest once told me confessing this monthly means it’s mortal sin, but I can’t find why. Can you shed light on this?
- I struggle with unwanted arousal around my fiancée—holding hands, hugging, sitting close, even certain voice inflections. Sometimes there’s slight discharge without erection or intent. I feel terrible afterward and replay everything to see if I consented. A priest and therapist have both told me it’s natural and I lack culpability, but I still worry because I’ve read that near-complete pleasure can be gravely sinful. I’m trying to understand if these involuntary reactions are sinful. Please help a confused brother in Christ.
Resources:
JPII Legacy Foundation Website
Good News About Sex & Marriage
Love & Responsibility YouTube Series
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | From the Theology of the Body Institute, this is the Ask Christopher West podcast. |
| 0:14.3 | Hi, podcast listeners. |
| 0:20.1 | Welcome everybody to another episode. |
| 0:22.3 | We're happy you're with us today, wherever you are. |
| 0:24.6 | Yes. |
| 0:27.3 | Where are we? |
| 0:28.7 | I think that dead space just meant we didn't even know we were here. |
| 0:34.9 | We've just had a fun experience this week on November 18th. |
| 0:40.9 | We were celebrating, what were we celebrating? |
| 0:43.9 | Our 30th anniversary. |
| 0:45.0 | Our 30th wedding anniversary. |
| 0:48.7 | And I think I've crossed a threshold. |
| 0:51.8 | I said to you the other day, Wendy, the threshold of realizing how old we are. |
| 1:01.2 | I mean, you may be exaggerating it in your mind now. It might have been like, you know, not realizing it and now over-realizing it. I'm not sure. |
| 1:10.4 | The thing that did it for me, and I shared this with you the other day, |
| 1:13.0 | we went back to our old church where we got married 30 years ago, |
| 1:18.8 | and we invited the priest who set our wedding to come celebrate Mass for us, |
| 1:23.6 | which he agreed to do. |
| 1:25.0 | We were so happy he did. |
| 1:27.3 | And seeing him after so many years, |
| 1:30.3 | we hadn't seen him, gosh, since what, 1997. I don't know, yeah. |
| 1:36.2 | Something like that. And seeing him after so many years was certainly a marker in the passage |
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