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Did you ever secretly want to quit before, but you stuck around due to expectation?

I did announce privately that I was retiring after my fifth win.

I had a video on my phone, I recorded me, like, crying in my gym after a workout, being like, this is my last Olympia.

That was really the only moment where I was like, I'm done stepping away, and then I had to come back and be like, I'm not done, I'm doing this again.

You're raining, six-time Olympian champion Chris Bumstead!

When I started by the building, it was kind of just like the gym was a beautiful place for me to go and escape and enjoy it and I loved it

started to see progress and it changed over time it just kind of like shifted into a bit of a pressure

and I started to time my identity to and like kind of like I needed a lot of aspects of it and I never wanted to

but like I made the decision to be in body building. I'm making the decision to stay technically,

but is it a free choice if I feel like I have to do it to be good enough? But I feel like myself

worth in my identity to attach to competing now. So this goal I have, this journey I have,

and I have this intense tension because it's not a positive choice. It's not a free choice of like

this is wanting to do this. It's like I have to do this to be good enough

I wasn't getting anything from it anymore that was serving me and then I had to like really be honest with myself but clearly you were attached to that and now you may lose it all would you

be okay with that would you be okay with it all gone.

Before it was like the love of the sport.

It was love of bodybuilding and then it became this attachment to this like need of like what came with it.

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