Well, certainly you've had days in which you felt gloomy, but then you remembered, oh,

wait, it could be worse, I'm grateful, actually.

And it's amazing how practicing gratitude can really change and brighten your perspective.

I'm John Fuller, along with Greg Smalley and his wife, Aaron.

They lead the focus marriage team, and Aaron, you counsel a lot of couples.

So how often do you find that when a couple has some really significant problems, it's partly

because that's all they're focusing on, the negative.

And it's always so interesting when I sit with a couple and just notice that, like I notice

that you're spending a lot of time talking about your spouse's yard and what they are doing

or what they're not doing.

And you know, it kind of takes the person back just to recognize like, whoa, you're right.

And of course, I sit in a nice way, so they're not wanting to punch me or anything.

But it is good to recognize when we are looking for negative, we will find it.

It's called confirmation bias.

And when we have negative beliefs, we will find evidence of everything we're believing.

And it's so powerful.

I know for me personally, there's times that I need to step back and go, okay, what's true

about this man?

What is true about my husband?

Is he out to get me?

No, he's my teammate.

So if I'm thinking that he's doing something negatively on purpose to hurt me, you know,

...