“This is the worst dance I’ve seen yet on ‘Dance Moms,’” says Christi of Episode 8, “We look like snowbirds coming down from Cleveland.” The dance in question featured Brandon, whose mother Diane, a longtime friend of the two and member of the ALDC studio, joins the podcast to describe her experience of filming. Diane and Brandon surprised everyone by showing up in Orlando. Brandon is joining the group dance, in which he plays a photographer to the girls’ models. He and Brooke have a ‘dating history,’ going back to when they were nine, and even a decade since the episode, Diane and Kelly are convinced they might still get married. Diane makes no secret about the rushed and dishonest nature of filming the show– revealing that she was instructed to cause premeditated drama. Christi fills in gaps in the narrative to address long standing fan questions.

Once again, the ethics of the show’s producers are brought into question. Throughout this episode the children are being shown in an adult light, which ranges from hilarious (Brooke reflecting on her major growth between 9 and 13), to disturbing (Abby’s ambiguous descriptions of Brooke and Brandon’s dancing; Maddie saying if she couldn’t dance, she’d kill herself). Christi explains her frustration that Cathy and Melissa got to break the rules inside and outside of the show, while she and Kelly honored the job they agreed to do and suffered the consequences for it. The watermelon game and its fallout highlight the differences in the way the moms parent, and in the way Melissa acts on and off camera. The three note the sad irony that these girls, once dubbed ‘the dream team,’ lost all of their technique due to the demands of filming the show that made them famous. The show generated fury from the dance community, further isolating the girls from the opportunities they were working so hard to obtain. 

Find out why Abby was furious that Brandon and Diane appeared on the show, why Chloe didn’t appear in this episode, and the haunting specter of Abby’s starfish ring. 

Quotes

“Child abductors are what I think of when I see those vans. Then I just think of ‘Dance Moms’ and I think, “Aghh!”(9:29-9:36 | Kelly)

“You see me in an interview say that I’m not shocked that Cathy isn’t here, she picks and chooses what she goes to. Which is such bullshit. Every week it’s that!” (10:21-10:35 | Kelly)

“I always tell people that doing a reality show is like walking through a haunted house: you don’t know what’s coming.” (23:52-23:58 | Christi)

“Seeing Abby in a hotel room is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. It’s unnatural, it’s weird. It’s just weird to see her out of the dance studio.” (35:45-35:5 | Christi)

“We all had a life before ‘Dance Moms,’ and in Season 1 we were definitely figuring out how to make it all work. We had dropped everything. My business was totally kaput, Kelly’s son was at home. We were all making these huge sacrifices.” (36:38-36:58 | Christi) 

“Brooke has the best line ever: ‘I think Brandon still likes me, but I’ve moved on. I’m not the same as I was when I was nine years old.’” (43:52-44:00 | Kelly)

“Wouldn’t you like to see behind the scenes what Maddie has encountered between Melissa and Abby, if she doesn’t win? What has she endured behind the scenes from them? What do they say to her to cause her that much anxiety.”(1:07:38-1:07:58 | Diane)

“It wouldn’t be ‘Dance Moms’ without Melissa crying at a solo.”(1:08:47-1:08:49 | Christi)

“My daughter cannot buy anything with a star on it because of Abby’s starfish ring. There was this really pretty Dior bag with a beautiful star on it that Chloe wanted for Christmas. She said, ‘I can’t have that bag, I don’t want anything with a star, I have trauma from childhood about stars from that ring.’”(1:12:25-1:12:44 | Christi)

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