Blaming others for your problems is a complete waste of time.

When you do that, you don't learn anything.

You can't grow and you can't mature.

Thus, you can't make your life better.

In my three decades as a professor and clinical psychologist,

I've learned that there are two fundamental attitudes

toward life and its sorrows.

Those with the first attitude blame the world.

Those with the second ask what they could do differently.

Imagine a couple on the brink of divorce.

They're hurt and angry.

The unhappy, bitter husband recalls the terrible things his wife has done

and the reasons he can no longer live with her.

The harried and disillusioned wife in turn can describe all the ways

her husband let her down.

Each has a long list of necessary changes

for the other person.

Their prospects for reconciliation are grim.

Why?

Because other people aren't the problem.

You're the problem.

You can't change other people but you can change yourself.

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