Summary
When we do something for the first time, we enter into a world with new rules. It’s the creation of a new path, a new possibility. We meet this threshold with no knowledge of what will happen, how we or the world will react.
Once the rules of the game change, once we do something that we’ve never done before, the question of how to navigate the new world is what comes next. What do we do after the first kiss? Will it give way to the first holding of hands, the first public display of affection, the first sex, the first week sleeping in someone else’s bed every night? Or will it be the first, but also — the last?
This is a story featuring Drew Denny, a singer, songwriter, filmmaker and artist. You can check out her first feature film here.
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| 0:00.0 | Hey heart listeners! I hope you're enjoying this show. We just have a quick request. |
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| 0:26.0 | It means a lot to us. Happy listening! |
| 0:29.0 | Welcome to the heart. I'm Caitlin Prest. |
| 0:36.0 | How can we ever be the same after the first time? |
| 0:42.0 | The first time is a threshold. We come to it not fully knowing what lies on the other side. |
| 0:48.0 | And for those of us who think too much it comes with a terror. |
| 0:52.0 | Will I do this right? Will this live up to my expectations? |
| 0:59.0 | I remember the first time riding a bike. I watched everyone else ride their bikes with ease and grace. |
| 1:12.0 | To me it seemed totally impossible. They did it with some magic I knew nothing about. |
| 1:20.0 | I'm on the road staring at the handlebars of a rusty orange banana seed bike. |
| 1:24.0 | I've been standing there for 15 minutes. |
| 1:27.0 | Every once in a while I'll lift one foot onto the pedal and then the other. |
| 1:33.0 | And begin to tip over, catch myself. Heart beating fast. |
| 1:38.0 | I'm staring with my bright red cheeks at the road, imagining how hard the concrete will feel on my face, my knees, and my hands. |
| 1:48.0 | I'm sick with anticipation, feeling certain that it can't be done. I don't know how. |
| 1:53.0 | But at this point I've come too far and it's too humiliating to turn back. |
| 1:58.0 | Everyone is on the lawn watching to see if I'm going to do it. |
| 2:04.0 | I stand there for five more minutes. |
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