Finding Hope When You Feel Hopeless [Flying Higher Moment 018]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
5 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 12 April 2025
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, I'm excited to share something transformative I just learned from the book "Coming Alive" by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz. Have you ever felt so completely demoralized that you couldn't see a way forward? That crushing feeling when you believe nothing will ever get better? I've been there too.
In this episode, I'll talk about a powerful tool from this book that can gently pull you out of those darkest emotional spaces and reconnect you to hope, resilience, and even joy. Through the story of Ann, a woman devastated by another failed relationship, we explore how we often chase external solutions (like the perfect partner) to fix our internal emptiness, only to find ourselves more disappointed when they don't deliver the salvation we crave.
Here's what you'll learn from this episode:
• How to identify when you're caught in the trap of "false hope" and why external achievements, relationships, or possessions never fill the void we think they will
• The simple 5-step Mother Tool practice that can lift you out of demoralization and reconnect you to your inner strength, even when everything feels hopeless
• Real examples of how this tool has helped people transform their creative blocks, unhealthy relationship patterns, and even approach chronic pain with renewed resilience
When we're at our lowest, what we need isn't logic or problem-solving – we need love. That's exactly what the Mother Tool helps us access: an unconditional, nurturing presence inside ourselves that sees our worth regardless of our circumstances.
This practice isn't about fixing your external situation; it's about shifting your emotional state so you can show up to life with clarity and strength. Because when you reconnect to that loving presence within, you discover the resilience to keep going – not because things are perfect, but because you're loved.
Join me for this heart-opening episode where I walk you through exactly how to use this tool in your own life. And if you're craving more connection and growth, remember that my Flying Higher mentorship program offers weekly classes, coaching, and a beautiful community of almost 300 women supporting each other's journeys. You can learn more at joinflyinghigher.com.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, beautiful butterfly. I'm Natalie and welcome to another flying higher moment. |
| 0:06.7 | Today I want to talk about a concept I just learned this past week in a book I'm reading |
| 0:11.8 | called Coming Alive by Barry Michaels and Phil Stutz. |
| 0:16.6 | This is something that has a potential to gently pull you out of the darkest emotional spaces |
| 0:23.2 | and reconnect you to hope, resilience, and even joy. |
| 0:29.0 | So in chapter five, the authors tell a story about a woman named Anne. |
| 0:34.3 | She's a 30-something woman who walks into her therapist's office, pale and drained. |
| 0:40.5 | She's just gone through yet another breakup. And this one has absolutely gutted her. |
| 0:46.1 | She's crying uncontrollably and she can't understand why this relationship, like all of the other |
| 0:51.2 | ones before it, have left her feeling completely undone. |
| 0:56.1 | As she talks with her therapist, the truth comes out. |
| 1:00.2 | Anne had been chasing something for years, not just love, but salvation. |
| 1:07.9 | Because she believed that if she could just find the right man, everything would |
| 1:13.1 | click into place. She would then feel alive. She'd feel safe. She'd be happy. But what she didn't |
| 1:19.7 | realize is that she wasn't just searching for love. She was searching for rescue. She wanted to be rescued from her feelings of loneliness, emptiness, |
| 1:32.1 | boredom and fear. And that longing had roots in her childhood. Her father was a charismatic but |
| 1:40.1 | absent man. He never really saw her. She learned to perform to get his attention, |
| 1:46.2 | but he just ignored or ignored her or brushed her off. And as an adult, that same script |
| 1:51.5 | kept playing itself out again. She'd try to win love with fantasy, with greater efforts, |
| 1:57.9 | with sacrifice, anything. She would do anything, but nothing ever worked. In fact, |
| 2:01.7 | it always left her feeling worse. And this is where the authors introduced this concept of false |
| 2:08.5 | hope. And we all know what that is, right? False hope is the belief that something external, |
... |
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