Finding Common Ground in Uncomfortable Times
The Science of Happiness
PRX and Greater Good Science Center
4.5 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 4 June 2026
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Across school campuses and communities, students and educators are discovering how listening, curiosity, and everyday conversations can open pathways across differences and help restore a sense of shared humanity.
Summary: How do we learn to truly communicate with people who are deeply different than us? In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we follow students and educators practicing the skills of empathy and courageous listening in classrooms and on the road. Their experiences reveal how intentional conversations can open unexpected pathways toward understanding and shared humanity.
How To Do This Practice:
- Observe Before You Interpret: Spend a few minutes noticing the environment around you and ask yourself: What do people here see, hear, say, think, and need?
- Approach with Curiosity: Start with simple human connection—small talk, a question about their day, or genuine interest in their community.
- Signal That You're There to Listen: Make it clear your goal is understanding, not persuading, debating, or changing anyone's mind.
- Practice Democratic Listening: Give your full attention through eye contact, nodding, and brief acknowledgments, while resisting the urge to agree, disagree, or jump in with your own views.
- Stay Relaxed Through Discomfort: When differences emerge, maintain "relaxed awareness"—remaining open, attentive, and calm rather than defensive or reactive.
- Reflect and Learn: Afterward, ask yourself: What helped create connection? What got in the way? What might I try differently next time?
Scroll down for a transcript of this episode.
Today’s Guests:
JESSE KELLY is a McNair and MacArthur fellow and a recent graduate of Bowie State University, Maryland's oldest historically black university.
Learn more about Jesse Kelly here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessekellyjr/
LIA HOWARD is the director of the Political Empathy Lab at the University of Pennsylvania.
Learn more about Lia Howards here: https://snfpaideia.upenn.edu/people/lia-howard/
Related The Science of Happiness episodes:
How to Feel Less Lonely and More Connected: https://tinyurl.com/2s3tbchd
When It's Hard To Connect, Try Being Curious: https://tinyurl.com/mr32nwtv
An Awe Walk Through History and Possibility: https://tinyurl.com/mr3arrbc
Related Happiness Breaks:
A Meditation on Original Love and Interconnectedness:https://tinyurl.com/mu2uzs2c
Our Deep Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/y2epxyxn
Message us or leave a comment on Instagram @scienceofhappinesspod. E-mail us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.
Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap
Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/3bt8fpdj
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This episode was supported by generous grants from the Educating Character Initiative at Wake Forest University and the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations. |
| 0:09.0 | As part of the Greater Good Science Center's work on bridging differences in higher education. |
| 0:17.5 | The morningside campus of Columbia is situated in Manhattan, but in this particular neighborhood, |
| 0:25.5 | it's Harlem. So Harlem bears great significance when you're thinking of black culture, |
| 0:32.0 | especially in the 20th century. I'm in Harlem, and I got to stop by and see the cotton club. And so the minute I say that, |
| 0:44.1 | everyone in the room looks at me and just goes, what's the cotton club? And I said, oh my God. This has been a place |
| 0:53.3 | where black talent has emerged in some of the greatest of all time have come here and perform. |
| 0:59.0 | I think something that is important about me being there is that I wouldn't exactly call myself an elite anything, right? |
| 1:08.0 | I don't come from the space, but I understand that Harlem is rich, in the same way that |
| 1:14.1 | coming up in Maryland, Baltimore, is rich. And so I come to Columbia with that knowledge, and it's |
| 1:22.4 | something that I intend to share in that space. |
| 1:35.1 | Welcome to the Science of Happiness. |
| 1:36.2 | I'm Dacker Keltner. |
| 1:39.3 | Across communities, people are finding ways to bridge differences through listening, |
| 1:42.1 | curiosity, and moments of human connection. |
| 1:45.0 | Research suggests that even brief interactions rooted in empathy and understanding |
| 1:50.0 | can help build trust and reduce polarization. |
| 1:54.0 | We'll hear how colleges and universities can become places where people practice the skills needed to connect across differences. |
| 2:01.6 | We also know from studies that bridging divides can begin in environments like universities, |
| 2:07.6 | large communities that help shape culture, conversation, and how people relate to one another. |
| 2:12.6 | If you don't get the exposure, you don't know what it's like to communicate or collaborate with people |
| 2:19.6 | outside of what your community is. And that's a weak point. We also look at ways students are |
... |
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