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ManTalks Podcast

Figs O'Sullivan - On Diagnosing Your Partner, Blame Games, And Emotional Pursuers

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.8591 Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2023

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Talking points: couples therapy, emotions, modern culture, empathy Delighted to have the wit and wisdom of Figs O'Sullivan to content with once again. It's been too long! We cover a lot of ground, specifically around couples therapy, so I encourage you to check the timestamps and listen in. (00:00:00) - As people learn more “therapy-speak” and watch more TikTok “experts”, how is that filtering down into relationships? (00:06:50) - Why do some people default to blaming their partner when things don’t go well? (00:12:57) - Why talk about diagnosing partners yourself is so difficult, and how competency can actually, sometimes, make you IN-competent (00:18:24) - What’s your opinion on modern therapy infiltrating culture the way it has? (00:22:49) - Is modern therapy set up well enough to truly help men? (00:30:25) - Why do couples fight over and over—and what do they fight about? (00:30:25) - The emotional pursuer and emotional withdrawer dynamic (00:41:25) - What are some ways out of that dynamic? (00:46:17) - What gets in the way of empathy, and how can that be overcome? (00:50:37) - What does good couples therapy entail, and how do you know it’s working? (00:55:25) - It’s important to pay attention to the ease of things as well as hard stuff Connect with Figs -Website: https://empathi.com/ -Podcast: Come Here To Me: https://get.empathi.com/comehere -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/empathinow/ -YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnPbjlO6Q0KBXVHXeGyivlw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Over the years, I've worked with hundreds, maybe thousands of men to help them quit pornography.

0:06.5

I've shared a lot about my journey with porn, how I struggled with it. It was a very real addiction in my teens and 20s.

0:14.1

I've talked a lot about my personal journey in quitting porn and the fact that it was brutally hard and took me over a year to stop watching it.

0:21.7

I've also had the fortunate experience to interview incredible people like Dr.

0:26.8

Anna Lemke from Stanford, Harvard professors and researchers that are talking about how

0:31.8

pornography hijacks the brain, can hijack dopamine reward centers, and how it actually infringes on our ability to show up

0:41.0

in the way that we want within our intimate relationships to get the kind of and quality of

0:46.5

sex that we actually desire in our relationships. And so I've taken all the information,

0:51.8

my personal experience, the research, the science, the data,

0:54.7

the conversations that I've had with incredible world-leading experts, and compiled it into one

0:59.8

program called the Porn Detox Program, which is live now. In this program, I share a lot of

1:06.9

insight into how you as a man can quit watching porn, how you can actually stop watching it

1:12.5

for good. And I share some things that I haven't seen in any other porn program that I think

1:17.1

are absolutely crucial to letting go of porn. Now, this isn't just about quitting porn. This is also

1:22.5

about connecting to a deeper sense of self-trust, of being able to trust yourself more deeply as a man,

1:29.6

and to be able to bring your desires, your sexual arousal, into your relationships in a

1:35.3

healthier way. So if you're interested in this, join me, go to mantops.com forward slash

1:41.4

porn. The course registration is open now until October 31st. Again, it's mantox.com forward slash porn. The course registration is open now until October 31st. Again,

1:45.5

it's Mantex.com forward slash porn. There's two options for you. One, you can go through it yourself

1:50.5

or two. You can join me. I'll be doing live coaching calls and working with all of the men that are a part of

1:56.0

the program helping you quit pornography and get the most out of your relationships.

2:02.1

So I'll see you inside.

...

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