FFN 087: Overcoming Guilt
Order of Man
Ryan Michler
4.8 • 9.1K Ratings
🗓️ 22 December 2017
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Whether it's the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there's no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, a productive emotion to experience.
I know a lot of you, when I say that guilt is productive, are wondering what exactly I'm talking about but I firmly believe that the range of emotions we experience – even the negative emotions are helpful. Negative (as well as positive emotions) are simply indicators of our lives. They tell us what's going well, what's not going well and where we need to focus our attention and energy in order to produce new outcomes.
It's when we dwell on these emotions or allow them to cripple us from doing the work we know we should be doing that it becomes a problem. And, I see this time and time again with the men within The Order. They make a mistake they regret and, rather than learning from it, they wallow in their own self-pity and completely incapacitate themselves and their ability to move on and improve as a result of their mistake.
Look, I get it. I've made mistakes that I haven't been proud of but dwelling on the past does nothing to enhance your future and there certainly isn't anything you can do about it other than you those mistakes as fuel to alter the course of your life moving forward.
And, that's what I want to talk with you about today. I want to talk with you about three very simple steps you can use to overcome the destructive power of unchecked emotions. Let me be clear though, I'm not talking about hiding emotions or just getting over it. I'm talking about using these powerful feelings we all experience to do the work of a man.
See, there seems to be two sides of the fence on this. One side says, "Men don't express emotions." The other side says, "Men need to be vulnerable." I don't sit fully with either camp. I think there's a time and place for everything. There's a time I can and need to be vulnerable and a time, where I need to simply get over it and re-engage in the work that needs to be done.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. |
| 0:03.0 | Embrace your fears and boldly charge your own path. |
| 0:06.0 | When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. |
| 0:09.0 | Every time you are not easily deterred and defeated. |
| 0:12.0 | Rugged, resilient, strong. |
| 0:15.0 | This is your life. This is who you are. |
| 0:18.0 | This is who you will become. |
| 0:19.0 | At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, |
| 0:22.0 | you can call yourself a man. |
| 0:25.0 | Gentlemen, what is going on today? |
| 0:26.0 | My name is Ryan Mickler and I am the host of the founder of this podcast. |
| 0:29.0 | The Order of Man. |
| 0:31.0 | I want to welcome you to the best show on iTunes available for men. |
| 0:36.0 | Of course, that's easy for me to say, but we are growing each and every week. |
| 0:40.0 | And we have some incredible men from all walks of life coming on to impart some of their wisdom and insights into how to be more effective and efficient, healthier, wealthier, and generally just more successful in your life. |
| 0:52.0 | This one is a little different than that though, because this is our Friday field notes where I share some thoughts and ideas |
| 0:58.0 | that I've been thinking about or seeing come up in our Facebook group. |
| 1:01.0 | And the subject that I want to talk with you about today does come up quite a bit in our Facebook group. |
| 1:06.0 | And by the way, if you're interested in joining those discussions, you can head to facebook.com slash groups slash Order of Man. |
| 1:13.0 | Outside of that, there are two other resources where you can learn more about what we're up to and engage in the battle. |
| 1:20.0 | That all of us are fighting to become better men in our families and our businesses and our communities everywhere that we show up in life. |
| 1:27.0 | The first one is our live meetup. You've heard this by now. We are getting very close on the dates, which is January 26 and 27, 2018 in Nashville. |
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