Feel Guilty Saying No? The Science Behind Why — And How to Break Free - with Psychologist Guy Winch, TED Speaker & Author

Negotiate Anything

American Negotiation Institute

Education, Careers, Business

4.8 • 659 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you feel selfish, anxious, or even guilty just for saying “no”? You’re not alone — and it’s not your fault. In this eye-opening conversation, Kwame sits down with psychologist, author, and TED speaker Guy Winch to unpack the deep psychological roots behind our fear of rejection, the guilt of boundary-setting, and the hidden emotional costs of people-pleasing. You’ll learn: Why rejection hurts like physical pain (yes, literally) How to reframe fear and rewrite the labels you give yourself The secret to setting boundaries without ruining relationships Why most people fail at boundaries — and how to do it right The one question that will completely change how you approach tough conversations This episode is a must-listen for anyone who struggles with speaking up, saying no, or putting themselves first without shame. Plus, Guy gives a sneak peek into his upcoming book Mind Over Grind — and why burnout at work is hitting harder than ever.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The HP AIPC breaks language barriers instantly by translating up to 44 languages in real time,
0:08.0	powered by the Intel Core Ultra processor.
0:10.9	With the right tools, work doesn't have to feel like work.
0:13.7	Learn more at HP.com slash AIPC.
0:24.4	I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's chief product officer.
0:29.6	If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune into my podcast,
0:30.5	building one.
0:33.1	I speak with some of the best product builders out there.
0:35.9	I've always been inspired by frustration.
0:37.9	It came back to my own personal pinpoint.
0:41.4	So we had to go out to farmers and convince them.
0:43.9	Following that curiosity is a superpower.
0:46.4	You have to be obsessed with the human condition.
0:50.0	Listen to Building One on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
0:56.7	Compative Reappraisal, we call it in colloquial terms, reframing. What it means is that you are repraising something, you're rethinking something through, you're trying to reframe it. And
1:01.5	reframe it means you're trying to get a different perspective on the same set of facts, to zoom out
1:07.4	and see things from a different angle, to find a silver lining in a difficult situation,
1:12.9	to find an opportunity in what would otherwise be a demoralizing situation. By finding those
1:18.4	silver linings, those opportunities, by getting a different perspective, we are reevaluating that
1:22.9	situation in terms that are more conducive and are more beneficial to us. Again, we are looking at the same thing.
1:29.0	We're not looking at a different reality.
1:30.8	We're just looking at the reality from a different vantage point that gives us more tools
	...

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