Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday.

We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls?

We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go,

but how many of them come out on Thursday?

Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart,

wherever you get your podcast.

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Now hiring.

You're not ready for this one, J.G.

Am I ever?

Yo, yo, we have a growing legion of listeners that are cutthroat.

When I tell you they're cutthroat, the job fair audience is cutthroat.

This one isn't even from me.

This is from a lovely friend on the internet on Instagram.

I'm not going to say their name because I don't want nobody tracking them down and talking trash to them.

Now hiring an international job opening for Duke, aka Queen's husband, position recently became open. Will probably be a short-term contract.k.a. Queen's husband. Position recently became open.

Will probably be a short-term contract given the Queen's age,

but comes with lots of perks.

Must love racism.

Oh.

That's quality.

You were going somewhere.

...