Hi, I'm Willow Beldon and you're listening to Out There, the podcast that explores

big questions through intimate stories outdoors. Today, we have a special guest episode for you.

It's from the podcast She Explores, which shares

stories of women and their varied relationships with the outdoors. She Explores is hosted by Gail Straub,

and it covers topics ranging from solo adventures to environmental justice, to new motherhood, and more, all through the voices and

experiences of inquisitive nature lovers.

The story you're going to hear today is about fear and leadership in the mountains. Gail Straub has the story.

For me, it was really a fear-based progression, but I started the season just being so afraid.

Like, we would go out on our weekend outings, and I would be, like, crying halfway up a mountain being like, I'm not doing this again next weekend. Like, I refuse to come back out here.

Next weekend, I'm going to be sick. Like, that's what I would tell myself. And then middle

of the week, I would like start to forget a little bit how terrible it was. And then somehow, like, next week, I would go to roll around and I would be back out in the mountains, just hating it. They say, like, good mountaineers have really short memories. That's like a thing I think that people think. But anyway, the end of the class came and we did our grad climb and I climbed Colchin without any fear.

And it was, yeah, I just got to the top and had this realization that I hadn't been scared even one time.

It was a hugely transformative moment for me to realize like how much you can grow through this just a couple of months.

How many times have we been told the story of the fearless leader?

In work, in politics, in the mountains.

When the stakes are high, it's natural to place our confidence in strength and certainty, to turn to the leader and believe that they have no doubt, that they've built up a

kind of resilience that will carry us all to safety. Today's episode isn't about how to become

a fearless leader in the mountains, nor is it about how to overcome your fear or even how to harness it.

But it is about listening to what fear is trying to teach us. And it's an opportunity to consider

what kind of leader you'd want to be. Lindsay Falkenberg reached out to me to share her

experience leading a mountaineering course in 2019.

You might recognize her from an episode earlier this season about her decision not to

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