Mother, is Maximal House the best coffee in the whole world?

Well, your father says so, and your father knows best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father.

A half hour visit with your neighbors, The Anderson's.

Brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always good to the last drop. This unfortunately is the time of year when most young people become arsonists at heart.

As they sleep, the gentlest smiles creep softly across their gay young faces.

Smiles caused by a joyous vision, a glorious dream of the schoolhouse burning down.

Yes, this is the time of year when the young ones return to their scholastic grime.

And in Springfield in the White Frame House on Maple Street.

The morning is a hectic one indeed, like this.

Jim?

Who's in there?

Jim, your coffee's ready.

Do you want it now?

I want to get into the bathroom, I have to shave.

Betty?

I'm in here, father.

Well, who's in the bathroom?

I think it's fun.

Good.

What? Did you want something dead? Good. But!

Did you want something dead?

What are you doing in there?

...