Time for fan mail Friday where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right if you're new to the art of charm podcast. This isn't a great place to start most of our content is more in depth and longer formats to check out the best of at the art of charm dot com slash best or the fundamentals toolbox at the art of charm dot com slash toolbox will send you all of this to your inbox if you text charmed that's C H A R M E D to 3 3 4 4 we've got the fundamentals of body language nonverbal communicator

attraction negotiation networking and everything else we teach here at the art of charm all right let's cut to it dear Jordan here's a real original problem I have a thing for my best friends girl how would you handle that situation signed bros or hose

Hey man this is actually really common here's the deal anything you think you have with your friends girlfriend is almost certainly 100% in your imagination but it's also worth thinking about whether or not she's this girl in the first place

so they super serious or they just dating around if it's the latter you might actually be picking up on something of course whether or not there are real feelings between the two of you sort of

sides the point entirely you aren't the first guy to get a crush on his best friends girlfriend or write a song about it's and you won't be the last but what you have to ask

yourself is whether or not you think what you might possibly potentially maybe have with this girl is worth losing what you have with your best friend chances are it's not

unless you think she's a love of your life and you really don't value your friends basically unless you absolutely positively can't live without her leave it alone and even you know what even if you can't leave it alone leave it alone you will lose your friend it's not worth it I can't think of like anytime that I know of that I even

remember hearing about anecdotally that it's been worth it so forget about it hey Jordan I love the podcast and thanks for the incredible work that you guys do I've learned so much about why I am the way I am and it has helped me become a better person

these are the sorts of things that I wish I learned years ago the issue is that I'm a 20 year old college kid who doesn't enjoy being in college I've never enjoyed being in school in the first place and the only reason I'm in college now is because I don't have anything specific that I want to do I feel like I'm that guy working a crappy nine to five jobs saying to

himself what am I doing with my life I thought about quote unquote taking the leap but then thinking realistically I have no income but at the same time if I'm in school I feel miserable for the remainder of my school

life my question is what would be a realistic thing to do thank you in advance signed a college kid going through a midlife crisis so this might be a controversial answer but look you in my opinion given what you have told me only and what you've said in earlier emails

leave college you can go back it will be harder to go back it's not going to be the same as gone straight from high school to college I can't imagine becoming a student at a university again just FYI because I've gone for so long and remember I

I went to law school after that I graduated in 2007 from that so it hasn't been that long but I cannot I could not go back in the meantime though you're wasting your time even studying unless you're doing it in a way to discover new interests

if you're just slogging through it like I was I suggest bouncing and getting a job someplace to get some kind of experience you can work overseas get some language skills meet people

etc or get a job locally and learn a trade or a skill which could be really important and really useful then if necessary you can get a certification later that's how people used to do it before colleges found out how to market better and then the government started dumping loan money to them to funnel students to their programs you might

find better luck with that route.

I'm a 31 year old male and come from a down to earth family in the UK it's just me my parents and two brothers we've always got on well and never had any major drama recently however I became a father and had a baby girl this was the first grandchild in our family leading up to the birth everything was great my parents and family were so positive and excited after the birth

however we announced the name and it turns out they don't approve things have gotten really unpleasant they've been ganging up on me and been very hostile it's like they're throwing everything they can at me trying to force us to change the name and it's really tainted all of my pleasant memories growing up with them the tension has been amplified due to the fact that my wife and I live in the US and our only communication is over email and Skype for months have gone by now and my family still haven't seen our daughter in person since they canceled their original trip the cultural differences between

the UK and US probably also has something to do with this being an issue in the first place as I've discovered that it's difficult to find the name that is received positively in two different cultures I don't know what to do my wife and I love the name and we think it's a perfect fit for our child and her personality.

I feel I've been as calm as I can be throughout this and I've told them that I'm sorry that they don't like the name but I can't and don't want to change your name we've bonded with their and her name it would feel so strange to change it now that we know her.

I've invited them to come up with their own name that they use but they want to agree to it I would really appreciate your thoughts and wondered how you would handle something like this.

Thanks so much for the amazing show signed anonymous.

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