You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

This week, we'll continue discussing triangulation in family of origin.

As Dan and Becky share more from their own story, they remind us that no matter how deep

the harm and no matter how costly the healing,

our stories are not yet done being written.

Well, as we end this series on the family of origin, particularly on the category of triangulation,

I just wanted to start off by going back and going, so what did you do with our last conversation, my love?

You, yeah.

I guess I'm just not as far as I'm not as far as I want to be and yeah for some reason

it almost seems conceited like oh yeah I my dad liked me a lot you know I don't know that's

even hard to say but it was a sticky situation between my parents.

Yeah.

So I, that's true.

Well, and part of the issue here is I hope people here, your parents have been deceased for quite a few years.

My mother died several years ago. My father, almost 20 years ago.

These things don't end because your parents are no longer on the earth. This is really hard,

raw material to own envy and to own misuse and misappropriation of intimacy in our families.

And I think there are a lot of people who have to admit they weren't chosen.

There was another sibling in the house chosen by your mom, by your dad.

And the heartache of that, in one sense,

it's held to be chosen and it's hell to not be chosen. And so the reality of the kinds of

tensions we're opening the door to, I'm telling you, I teach triangulation in almost every class.

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