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Hello, and welcome to Anatomy of Family. I'm your host, Melanie Studley.

What's up, guys? My name is Seth Studley. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and we're talking about explosive kids today.

Here we go.

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You'll love it. Send us a call. Always sending us calls. All right. Today's question was sent in by a listener, and it is it's saying help. I have a kids with explosive behavior.

So it says we have four kids. They just four, seven, eight, and 10, and they all have different characteristics. I would say that three out of the four are highly sensitive and two potentially show signs of ADD like myself.

But with certain things, it's the anger slash rage and impulses that I find hard to manage. Bed times with our eight-year-old daughter are so tricky. She talks back. She calls us names, and she is defiant and testing.

We've tried bedtime routines. We've tried options talking about feelings and consequences like not being able to join in on something, et cetera.

But bed times are a battle or any situation where it's being asked to do something that is not wanted to the two who show the most rages are eight and seven year olds.

Both are very loving and affectionate, but the rages fly from zero to 100 and it is explosive. Our eight year old has said before that she feels low at times and doesn't know why is this a preteen thing help.

No, I would not say it's a preteen thing, right? Eight-years-old kind of thing. She has about four years until preteens, and this is the therapist me talking and sometimes ADD, ADHD, guess what?

It looks like it's ADD, but it's really anxiety manifesting in a certain way, right?

So we have had a kid who deals with some of this stuff, right? And oftentimes it can look like ADD, but that is just a nervous kind of energy going on, right?

And so I always go back to my training to family systems theory, and I say, okay, mom, okay, dad, what in your, what in their world are you guys creating, right?

What is your routine? Do they see you guys be affectionate, have routines, have goals? Are you guys on the same page? There was a long time ago.

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