Welcome to Strangers from KCW and Radio Tobia. I'm Leah Tao. So my little show is

about the beauty and the struggle of human connection and what happens in those

moments when we get closer to someone else or further removed from ourselves and

you know often the changes slow and subtle but sometimes it is sudden and

monumental. Here is Leanna Strelkov. It was October 4th 2002. It was a Friday and I had

spent the night at my friend Dean's house. We had known each other already for a

couple of years but it only been dating for a few months and our relationship

was very confusing to me. Dean wasn't the kind of guy that I thought I wanted. I

had this whole list. You know I sat down and I made the list of sort of qualities

that I admire in a person and who I want my ideal partner to be and that person

on paper was not Dean and yet I couldn't seem to walk away. I kept being drawn

back. I didn't understand my attraction at all but here we were dating and I

had spent the night with him and I remember waking up that morning in his

bedroom with the brown walls and the olive green curtains Dean likes saying the

color of dirt and I'm making love with him on his bed and having what I can only

describe is the best orgasm of my life and even in the mulligan lying there

thinking holy shit I think that actually tops them all and then I just wanted to

get up. I remember Dean wanted to lounge in bed but we had this plan to go

hiking that day we were gonna check out Charmley Park in Malibu so I insisted

that we get up and we throw on clothes and our boots and I don't even want to

take time to have breakfast. We grab a couple of bananas we get in the car and we

start driving up the coast and I just felt really uncomfortable and the whole

...