Welcome to this is Jan episode 63 for the entire month of May and maybe beyond we are doing this podcast live on Instagram YouTube and that to me Facebook.

Very excited to have you with us. I remind you that I am getting close to a thousand reviews on iTunes and I've been telling you guys that people the first thousand reviewers.

This podcast on iTunes are the if there's ever a favor I can do for you hook you up with something I will do that is also the best way to get in touch with me I've made what people think what they erroneously perceive are jokes about how like literally leaving a review of this podcast on iTunes is better for getting in touch with me than texting but seriously I read every and someone the other day was like I feel like general.

I feel like general read this because she said she put yes yes I read that so I have also often said that leaving a review of the this is Jan podcast on iTunes if you're in the first thousand and I can ever do you a favor I will I hope someone up with something the other day and because they said they were like I I was one of your first thousand reviewers but we're getting close.

You're about to miss here about their miss the cutoff for that let's begin by you'll hear me complaining about Facebook a lot today because this is important to me this is you know what I'm it's my mission in life really is to complain about Facebook so what happened for those of you who didn't see the previous live I did they won't let me post my sketches I don't know what's going on I can I can go live and I can

I can post pictures and I can post text but no sketches now I do have one theory welcome to the broadcast shady Ray hello I'm still getting used to being live on three different platforms at once I do there's one theory that about why perhaps per chance I haven't been able to post sketches I don't think this is it I actually think it's just that platform being terrible it's like it's you know the face of it's like

it's you know the Facebook mission statement but I there could be that one of the last sketches I posted before I lost the ability to post sketches was the I implied that I burned down the mansion of the corn hub CEO

and I said like you know hey maybe we'll bring the arsonist to justice using the same methods that they use for the human traffickers who were they knew that these human traffickers were exploiting children and certainly women on their website and they did nothing about it so let's just hope the arsonist is brought to justice you know as swiftly as they help bring the human traffickers to justice so I did that and I kind of implied that I was the one who burned it down it was fun that's but you know

who doesn't want to see a sketch about porn and arson right I do that's what right I mean when I open up my social media apps I'm like I want I want to see where is it where is it yeah porn and arson I think that they're classic topics you know like Johnny Carson that that was his go to you know like porn arson it was the whole thing oh put shady put our little what episode it is down there

so now what you're what you're missing on Facebook is what you're missing is I just did a sketch that involved my two daughters we were here at the studio late last night two of my daughters were here and they I had one of them stand on a stool and take a big bag of bread and pour it over my head

um and have you seen that sketch yet it's about when this pouch was saying she um she gave up and I thought it was we spent like 30 minutes on it I mean it was just a quick like why not stuff cupcakes into my mouth and uh have my daughter pour a massive bag of bread over my head the things you don't think about though are I had to clean it up well you would think about that I didn't think about that um that now you have to clean it up because

you did that and um so that that was a lot and that for every sketch I do there's this cost benefit ratio of is this like is you know is this worth it like having like buying cupcakes cupcakes and stuffing them in my mouth

yes and getting it in my hair and it was in the the hostess cupcake filling it was all over my face and then on top of that I had bread dumped on top of me and it's you know and that's the thing boy let me tell you

you know you never love it when your content doesn't get good engagement but when you do something like that and it doesn't get good and get I mean you just you just want to commit subpooku you know you understand how in futile Japan they were just like you have brought so much dishonor upon yourself that the only solution is to disembowel yourself and you see how they got there when you do something like that you cover yourself in hostess cream puffs and then it doesn't get good engagement I haven't checked the engagement I think

it's good but you know if not I won't be in a good place but that brings us to we always talk about current events on this fine fine show and uh so that brings us to the fact that that's a real story that Gwyneth Paltrow said that during quarantine things got so bad that she ate bread and she drank alcohol.

But yes she did she said that she made mixed drinks like sometimes seven days a week and she ate bread and that yeah that'll make you feel good about yourself when like a celebrity is low points the how did what what did we forget how you pronounce this word Nader I always thought it was Nadeer but it's Nader and I don't like that pronunciation it means low point yeah right it's Nadeer yeah you're right I'm taking this back the Nadeer of her life is like a

Tuesday for me I mean the eating bread and drinking alcohol that's my I mean that's kind of my those are my core values yeah and so and so and she said she her quote I have it right here her quote is that she went off the rails so this has hit the

rail off the rails yeah Gwyneth Paltrow says she went off the rails during a lockdown and eight bread

Paltrow pulled the smart list podcast that she'd been enjoying alcohol over the past year explaining that during quarantine I was drinking seven nights a week

and making pasta and eating bread can you imagine get this woman under control making pasta and eating bread

noodles do well she could have noodles will get you it could have been macaroni let's not do it do we know do we know

don't say that it was definitely noodles we don't know uh so I was drinking seven nights a week

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