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Hey, hey, hey, welcome, welcome.

Welcome to the Fox Across America. Gameball presentation ceremony brought to you by. Welcome to the Fox Across America.

Game ball presentation ceremony brought to you by the fine folks at Fox Across America. You know, each week what I'm trying to do is give you a snippet of the show that encapsulates the purpose of the show, which is discuss serious things, take them serious without taking ourselves seriously at all.

Sometimes we joke, sometimes we mock,

sometimes we play song parodies. Okay, but the point is we're basically taking hard news.

We're putting your vitamins in your applesauce. Why? Because that's how I've survived adulthood.

I don't want the responsibilities of life, but it is incumbent upon me to adhere to them,

...