Hey, everyone, welcome to episode 16 of Thomas in the Bible, starting another week on time, ready to go.

Although it's a holiday, so I guess if there's anyone who listens to this at work, you probably miss this day or something.

Or I have to catch up later.

Or actually no one listens to this, so it's okay.

Except God.

Except God above.

All right, we're on chapter 13 of Exodus today.

And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, sanctify unto me all the firstborn.

Whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast, it is mine.

And so I sort of had to look up what exactly that means.

I found out, I found out what it is, is that they had to, like, set their firstborn apart

and not really get attached to the firstborn until you've offered him to God and then

God gives him back or something.

And this is because God took away all the firstborn of the Egyptians.

And so they're so grateful that he didn't take away their firstborn.

So this is what they do.

So just to get behind the logic of that.

So because God murdered thousands of innocent people,

we should be just so grateful to him that he didn't

happen to murder our firstborn.

And we were so grateful that we offer our firstborn up to him before we get attached.

Needless to say, that's going to complicate, you know, the child's psychology and the relationship and everything, all because somebody didn't murder our child. This is horrifying. So the next time I decide not to murder your child, remember that I'm doing you a real favor and you should be grateful forever. Stupid.

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