Exclusive: How The Onion Finally Shut Up Alex Jones for Good
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Pablo Torre
4.7 • 2.6K Ratings
🗓️ 20 April 2026
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The notorious conspiracy theorist profited from his vile Sandy Hook conspiracy. Then America's finest (fake) news source decided to troll the world's greatest troll. Ben Collins — who transformed from reporting on the historic Infowars defamation trial to buying out his "ideological enemy" in a Storage Wars-style auction saga — tells Pablo why The Onion committed to the ultimate bit: doing the right thing.
(Pablo Torre Finds Out is independently produced by Meadowlark Media and distributed by The Athletic. The views, research and reporting expressed in this episode are solely those of Pablo Torre Finds Out and do not reflect the work or editorial input of The Athletic or its journalists.)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. |
| 0:06.3 | We're getting shut down. We beat so many attacks, but finally, we're shutting down at the middle of next month. |
| 0:14.6 | Right after this ad. |
| 0:24.6 | I'm really proud of you what you've done. |
| 0:25.2 | I'm not kidding. |
| 0:27.1 | Like, it's really hard to do what you've done here. |
| 0:27.8 | Thank you, dude. |
| 0:33.0 | It's hard to do journalism at all, and you bet on yourself and you had the fuck-deckbot. |
| 0:33.7 | So I'm really proud of you. |
| 0:37.9 | I think both of us have probably felt this where it's like, man, the bar's real low. |
| 0:44.4 | Sure. There's nobody, nobody's picking up the phone anymore to do any kind of journalism. It's crazy. |
| 0:50.3 | It's a market opportunity as well as the problem. The actual reporters left are the kids who are currently in journalism school because they're being told like old fashioned tricks on how to do stuff. Right. Like they realize like that's actually the thing that's going to get me a journalism job. Yes. Is scoops. It's information. Bricking fucking news. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. What an accurate, descriptive summary of the thing we're here to talk about. Yep. And by the way, the exclusive big announcement you're here to make |
| 1:10.8 | with us here today. Thank you, Ben Collins, for doing that. For those who are not familiar with your |
| 1:15.9 | current job, what is the title that you have? I'm the CEO of Global Tetrahedron. It's primarily |
| 1:22.7 | a puppy mill. That's why I make most of our money, a clandestine puppy mill. We also print a newspaper called The Onion, which you may have heard of. |
| 1:29.9 | Good newspaper. |
| 1:31.4 | It's so good, I dare say, that you've become the foremost antagonist of the one and only Alex Jones. |
| 1:41.6 | When you realize how fake it all is, the football, the basketball, the Lady Gaga, the Justin Bieber, |
| 1:48.8 | now the globalists are pouring on all the heat they can, pushing their hive, mind, |
| 1:54.9 | Borg, collectivist, zombie public system. |
| 1:58.9 | I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turned the friggin frogs gay |
| 2:03.1 | do you understand that? |
... |
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