You are now listening to Softcore History.

You are now listening to Softcore History. I'm gonna Go to I'm gonna Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I'm Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to softcore history.

It is officially the last week on the main feed about spooky month.

Oh, I'm a sad ghost.

Yeah, sad ghost.

Just how the schedule works. Yeah. Halloween's on a Friday. So we got two more Patreon episodes for Spooky Month. We do. But on the main. Main? We kind of get the short end of the stick. Kind of get shafted. Yeah, kind of get shafted on the main for Spooky Month this year. But we figured we bring in the heavy hitter. Your favorite. Our favorite. Our favorite. But, I mean, people honestly come to softcore history for Jack Mandeville. Well, you know, look, I'm probably in your top five biggest fans, for one. It's still mind-blowing to me, but... I've listened to two episodes in the last two days. I was listening one on the way up here. And the reason why I'm segregated on the couch all the way over here is, although my underwear and socks and clothes are clean, I haven't bathed in three or four days. So as a just-in-case, I'm keeping distance because I respect your fellow so much. Oh, it's okay. I'm pretty stinky right now. I have a huge rash underneath my armpits right now from a new deodorant.

Well, just call us the stink boys because I spent the entire morning standing next to bison and cows

pissing in the mud. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they smelled horrible. I was actually stunned by how bad these animals smelled. Like it couldn't have been a normal petting zoo situation. Like going into Riverside, California. Yeah, it was gnarly. And I did actually see a cow get a red rocket today. Oh, really? It was capable of getting red rockets. Dude, it was peeking out. He was excited because because someone was feeding it i guess i've never seen a cow's penis i would imagine they're reasonably sized right it wasn't it was just poking okay it was just poking but they hook in like a dog i don't i couldn't tell you i have seen i have seen zebras fuck at the zoo before and that thing is like a 10 foot like jet black dick oh yeah any

horse species is blessed yeah yeah thankfully though we all smell so maybe it gives off fumes of garlic

okay i think i think i know you're going with this. Werewolves.

Yeah, definitely werewolves. Yeah.

Everyone knows in order to ward off the werewolves. It's garlic. Claves of garlic. You know what I learned from one of the episodes of Softcore, which is now I'm going around telling everybody, but I learned it on your show was... That's a dicey proposition would go on. Yeah. the brothers grim that they weren't they didn't write those stories they were just documenting things that had been around for thousands of

years oh yeah yeah they wrote down huh they just wrote it down yeah i think there's a lot of books

back then they just wrote stories down and took the credit yeah yeah i think there's a lot of that in maybe more so ancient history than medieval history. The art of war. Yeah, yeah. But like there's like, if your enemy makes a mistake, let him. There's like stories. So wise. Yeah. Incredible. But there's stories in ancient Greece, for example, that have been going around, right? There's an oral tradition. And then some asshole, like Homer or someone, just wrote it down. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, Homer. I don't know if Homer specifically, but there are people who get credited as authors who are really just documenters. Yeah. Yeah. All they were doing was just they were one of five people in the country that could write, so.

No, Robert, it's not wearolves today we're talking about.

It's one of the earliest documented vampire events in European history.

Let me guess.

Eastern Europe.

Of course.

It's Eastern Europe. It's always Eastern Europe.

We're going to Serbia today.

Oh, boy.

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