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Welcome to the Total Soccer Show's Euro 2020 coverage day 13 and we were given four pretty bonkers games to round out the group stages.

It took ages for Spain to stop being lame and actually win a game.

Their drubbing of Slovakia is all but certain to mean the golden boot is going to own goals.

The Swedes, meanwhile, will be hitting the bars in Stockholm even harder than Robert Levedovsky

hit the bar in St Petersburg as Sweden escaped a late Polish comeback to top Group E.

A dramatic ending in that game also prompted a nationwide collective unclenching of buttocks

in Ukraine there through as well.

On the final day, in a group of death, we got more tutus and a ballet recital.

Germany were nearly munched in Muncheon by Hungary, who came close to serving de Manshaft.

They're just desserts.

Meanwhile, France and Portugal did France and Portugal things.

As Ronaldo broke records, Hugo Lurice nearly broke faces and Olivier Gir Jureau broke hearts. He didn't play, he's just very hunky. Here today is a man who would never punch an uncontested ball into his own net. It's Taylor Rockwell. I would not, and I definitely would not step all over that glorious introduction. I'm not even sure we need to record anymore, Ryan. I feel like you have covered every single base except for maybe that own goal, and now we've talked about it briefly, so I think we're good. I think the thing I didn't actually cover is my own name. I'm Ryan Bailey, by the way. I missed out a fairly important detail, but thank you for the compliment there, Taylor. Also here with us is a man who can beat Karen Ben Benzma's six-year gap between international goals.

He's been waiting 20-something years for his first international goal. It's Graham Rutherland. Hello. I hope the listeners are ready for a tight three hours of talking about what happened today. Because a lot happened, so I won't take up any more time. How are you, Ryan? I'm very good. I'm looking forward to taking some gardening shears to this edit, Graham, if that's going to be the case. Very much. So, finally, rounding out our group of TSS presenters, of course, is a man whose analysis shines brighter than Adam Troy's arms. It's Joe Lowry. Oh, Ryan, we all know that's not true. That's, that's like the furthest thing from the truth.

Nothing shines brighter than Adam's arms. Come on now. They're glorious, aren't they? I can't stop looking at them. I don't really want to go any further down this path personally. But, yeah, he is quite the player, not just in terms of his physique, but, man, I like watching him just run and dribble and dribble and then dribble some more and then run some more.

And can we all remember the fact that he apparently does not do any sort of weightlifting? That that's all apparently from like cardio and machines. I still don't know if I believe that, but that's what his coach has said. No, I don't believe that. I'm just looking forward to when Spain are struggling to break down a low defensive block with 10 minutes to go in the knockout rounds, and they all line up to slide Adamatriori down the pitch, like a cleanseman with his oiled arms.

Do we know what product he uses, by the way? Is it just like a simple baby oil, do we think? I'm not sure. It's whatever the rock uses, I think. Is there other baby oils that aren't simple? Is there,

like, like premium baby oil? I think we're not going to go long as it is, so I think we should

get a couple minutes letting Graham list all the oils he think it should be. Graham, take it away.

Oh, no.

I don't know how many oils I know.

And even if I did know them, it wouldn't reflect well on me if I was able to list them.

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