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From The New York Times and WBUR Boston, this is Modern Love.

Stories of Love, loss and redemption. I'm your host, Megna Chakrabardi.

Forgiveness. It's always easier said than done. What's even harder is finding a way to relate to someone who's hurt you to see them as just another imperfect human being.

Benjamin Hurtwig learned this at a difficult time in his life. Lance Reddick reads his story. He's best known as Lieutenant Cedric Daniels in HBO's The Wire.

Here's Lance with Benjamin's essay in the waiting room of estranged spouses.

I googled counseling and scrolled through pages of possibilities before finally settling on a female psychologist with a kind face.

Later that week, I went to her office wanting to talk about fidelity and broken trust, but somehow ended up talking about sex and guilt. I cried a lot.

Eight years earlier, when I was 20, I had served in Afghanistan as a machine gunner in a security platoon that accompanied convoys. A six-month tour of grinding tedium interspersed with episodes of unpredictable violence and death.

But that's not what drove me to the psychologist office. I went because my marriage had fallen apart.

My wife had had an affair. As is often the case of marriage, the infidelity was more a symptom of our trouble than its cause.

Their situation was typical. They met through work.

One evening, before I knew what was happening, the three of us were at the same fundraising event.

At one point, he and my wife ducked outside for a smoke and I was left alone. Well, not entirely alone.

His wife was there too, holding a newborn looking uncomfortable. We didn't talk.

Someone was making a speech about future goals and I was eating dessert.

...