This tension is inherent.

It's intrinsic.

Every relationship straddles.

How do I stay connected to myself without losing you?

And how do I connect with you without losing me?

This is core.

Hey, everyone.

It's Adam Grant.

Welcome back to Rethinking, my podcast with Ted on the science of what makes us tick.

I'm an organizational psychologist, and I'm taking you inside the minds of fascinating people to explore new thoughts and new ways of thinking.

Astaire Perel is a leading psychotherapist who focuses on personal and professional relationships.

You might know Aster from her books or her fascinating podcast. Where Should We Begin?

Today, I wanted to talk with her about the hidden influence of relationships, including her

concept of the unofficial resume, which includes all the connections that have shaped us

and affect how we show up at work and in life. This conversation is extra special because my

own relationship with this stare has had a big impact on me. We've long been friends and colleagues,

and a bonus episode of work life we did back together in 2020 actually helped spark the concept

for rethinking as a show.

Six years later, I'm excited to finally have her on.

Okay, Esther, welcome.

It's been a while since we did a podcast together.

Yes, yes, but you know what it is?

...